Barbershops of the world, conclusion

It's all over: since we got home I have used my own clippers and shaved myself. It was kinda unremarkable.

So as a final treat for all you barbering fans out there, here is the summary of all the cuts I had over the past year.

Location	Type	Cost €	Quality	Fear
Havana	Full	4	7	2
Campeche	Beard	2.3	5	1
Guanajuato	Full	4	8	0
Sigatoka	Beard	0.5	2	0
Te Rapa	Full	8	6	5
Wellington	Beard	4.5	6	1
Greymouth	Full	6.5	8.5	0
Queenstown	Beard	2.75	6.5	1.5
Melbourne	Beard	4	7	0
Sydney	Full	12	8.5	2
Byron Bay	Beard	3	6	1
Seminyak	Full	1.1	9	0
Ko Lanta	Beard	1.3	5	3
Chiang Mai	Debs!	5	9	6
Luang Prabang	Full	2.2	8	3
Savannakhet	Beard	0.4	6	1
Phnom Penh	Beard	1.3	7	1.5
Tokyo	Full	17	9	0
Chennai	Beard	3.3	5	3
Varkala	Full	1.1	6	1
Munnar	Beard	0.3	8	0
Hospet	Beard	0.5	7	2
McLeod Ganj	Full	1.9	8	0
Mumbai	Beard	1	6	2
Patara	Full	11	10	2
Patara	Beard	4.5	10	0

Jesus, this is ridiculous! LOL! I was going to do graphs and stuff but I really can't be bothered. If anyone wants to do it for me, be my guest!

By my calculations that makes Mini Bharath Hair Dresses in Munnar the best value (highest quality relative to price). Feel free to dispute my assertion if you are better at wangling statistics than me. Let's face it, that wouldn't be difficult.

And that concludes the series. Feeling nostalgic already? You can revisit all your favourite hairy episodes nice and easy, via the power of hyperlinks.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 25 and a half

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Last day in Turkey - so I went back to Nasif to get my face in shape for our triumphant return to civilisation. He did the business again: a cracking, precision job on my cheeks, same stuff as before, ear singeing and all.

No photos cos it's the same as last time, innit.

Cost YTL 8 (EUR 4.50), plus a YTL 2 tip

Cut quality 10/10

Fear factor 0/10

Oh, this time he used his special massage machine on me. it buzzed my backbone. Bit odd, but not entirely unpleasant.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 25

OMFG! We have a winner. İ have just awarded my first and only 10 out of 10 to Nasif's Unisex Barber Shop in Patara, Turkey. Why? Here's why:

• First ever nose hair trim
• First ever ear singe
• Best cleanup action ever
• Aftershave!

Basically, this was a tour de force of barbering. Stretching over a leisurely 45 minutes (yes, Debs did get a bit bored), and including a full head shave, crisp beard trim, plenty of cut-throat razor action with suds, and some mildly terrifying "singeing" where he soaked a little cotton bud in lighter fluid, lit it and then tapped it on my ears to burn off the little fluffy hairs - awesome stuff!

He also trimmed my nose hair, washed my face and head afterwards (and used cotton wool to clean out my ears), slapped a bit of aftershave on my cheeks and then gave me a head, neck and shoulder massage... total perfection, in other words.

To top it all off, there was a moment halfway through the cut where Nasif paused, gave a little sigh and wistfully said "İ like hair"... then just carried on as normal. Perfect!

Cost YTL 20 (EUR 11), plus a YTL 5 tip

Cut quality 10/10!!!

Fear factor 2/10 (my ears are on fire!)

No hesitation at all in awarding the full 10 points for this magnificent performance. Turkey, I salute you and your barbers!

Also, props to my Dad for recommending Turkish barbers! I would have gone anyway, but it boosted the anticipation excitement substantially.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 24

I never made it to a barber in Agra. There was a cool looking one in the Taj Ganj area, but it was too early in the morning and there were too many damn flies buzzing around. And you couldn't see the Taj Mahal from it, so - no point.

So I ended up with a quick and slightly pricey beard snip in Colaba, Mumbai. Asif, my barber, seemed like a friendly enough guy, but he quickly lost interest in being nice when I turned down his offer of a "good massage" for the third time. Meanwhile, his colleague was pestering Debs with facial massage offers - also refused, cos we can do all that business ourselves now.

So Asif continued to whisper creepily to me about massages, while squeezing my bicep and running the clippers over my face in a desultory manner. Hence the fear factor. I dunno why they're so secretive about it. Debs reckons it's cos they're secret gaylords who can't resist a hairy man in a vest :-)

[Pic to follow, the internet cafes here are really grotty and I don't want to stick my USB in their virus-ridden sockets]

Cost Rs 65 (EUR 1)
Cut quality 6/10
Fear factor 2/10

So, not a brilliant cut, but at least my face is tidy enough to avoid being catcalled "Ali Baba" on the flight back to London... which is tomorrow, w00t w00t! See ya later India, I'm off to get shaved in Turkey.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 23

McLeod Ganj is a small place with lots of barber shops. Debs selected the busiest one for me - no name - but then wasn't impressed with the price. Popularity breeds ripoffs. Ain't it always the way?


This time I needed the works: head and face; grades 2 and 1 respectively. Slightly cramped seating in here, but it didn't seem to hamper my barber who did a nice crisp job all round. No stray bits, nicely tripped upper lip, fresh blade in the razor for fluff removal, talc and brush then atomiser water spray and face wipe to remove bits at the end.


He even did a firm head massage for 5 minutes to round it all off. Nice and all that, but I'm not sure if that vigorous rubbing either side of my widow's peak is going to encourage hair growth or just pull out what little hair remains there.

Cost Rs 120 (EUR 1.90)
Cut quality 8/10
Fear factor 0/10

Next one should be in Agra, hopefully in the shadow of the Taj. "Fat chance", says Debs.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 22

One of the ways you know you're paying too much in India is if you say: "How much is this? 20 rupees?" and the guy smiles, wobbles his head and replies: "Whatever you like, sir".

So began my beard trim at "National Hair Dresses", Hospet. Not the nicest place in the world, but this was one of the funniest barberings I've had. The shop was instantly mobbed by curious locals, chatting with Debs about hair dye (while trying to look down her top), while my guy did a decent job of number oneing my cheeks and chin.

He even did the moustache nicely. Debs got a free cup of tea from the nutty guy next door and took yet more pointless photos of most of the onlookers at their request.

Cost Rs 30 (EUR 0.50)
Cut quality 7/10
Fear factor 2/10 - bit tense at the initial mob action; relaxed after a few minutes when it was clear that they were only hassling Debs, not me :-)

In the end I tipped him an extra Rs 10 for all the fun, then went back to the hotel to shower and watch Deja Vu starring Denzel Washington. What a day!

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 21

End of our week in Munnar. Exhausted after a hard day's walking/elephant hunting, I ducked out of the rain and into Mini Bharath Hair Dresses (sic) for a quick beard trim.

The experience was hard to fault. Nice little place, friendly guy, cool chair, sharp blades, great price - and very quick! Only the slightly dull conversation let him down. Here it is in full:

Him: "Where are you coming from?"
Me: "England."

That's it.


Cost: 20Rs (EUR 0.30)
Cut quality: 8/10
Fear factor: 0/10

This was definitely the best combo of speed and quality I've had. Stark contrast to the awful effort I had done in Fiji, which took a similar length of time but left me all lumpy.

Not many of these left to go before I return home now. All you barbers in London and Amsterdam - you've only got a few weeks to contact me with your offers for lucrative sponsorships, modeling contracts, etc etc.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 20

We're in Varkala, Kerala, South West India. Here they have yoga, herbs, reiki, singing bowls and crystals: where there's healing, there's hippies, and where there are hippies, there's hair! Seems every other foreign man on the subcontinent is determined to grow or a topknot, plus a tangly beard.

Not me! I'm happy to fly the flag for short, short hair. No nits, on me, no sir. Also, in this heat my big fluffy head makes my face look like a mouldy tomato. So... off to the barbers again - or rather, the Gents Beauty Parlour, as they call them over here.

This shop was down a dark alley in Varkala town. Looked a bit like a florist, and did an OK job. Number 2 on my head, number 1 on the face. Had to jolly him along a bit to trim my moustache properly (it's like Mexico all over again), and those flashing scissors near my nose were less effective than they were scary.

Cost: 70Rs (EUR 1.10)
Cut quality: 6/10
Fear factor: 1/10

Since this haircut was substantially cheaper than the ripoff guy who did me in Chennai, I thought I'd splash out a bit and get myself some new shoes.. My life is like a backpacker version of Sex in the City! I'm off to get myself on the outside of a Tom Collins, see you later, mwah!

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 19

Tuesday! Having a slow morning after arriving, exhausted, in Chennai the previous night. That was a helluva taxi ride from the airport...

So, why not get a shave at the Royal Saloon, and - yeah, I'm game - I'll have a head, shoulder, and back massage too please!


The man was thorough. And I mean scrupulous. Only later did I realise that this was because his clippers were super-blunt, so the only way to get anything close to consistent was to pull and stretch my cheeks and nose about, and go over the same bit time and time again.

I had to tidy up the edges and my top lip myself on returning to our hotel room - always a bad sign. Gotta give him for keeping the rest of me totally clean during the clip though: good use of towels, brush, and spray/wipe to remove all the wiry bits and pieces that usually end up peppering my vest and nestling in my ears. Bravo!


Debs wasn't impressed by the price. Next time I'll negotiate upfront, before the extra massage. However, that neck-cracky bit was pretty exciting, I can tellya.

Cost: 200Rps (EUR 3.30)
Cut quality: 5/10
Fear factor: 3/10

Top comedy/fear moment: Debs strolled outside for a moment; my barber seized his opportunity, leaning close to my ear to whisper "Full body massage?" with a suggestive look towards the back room. It doesn't get much classier!

Face bleaching was also on the list of services offered, but I decide not to go for that, either.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 18

Just in case you hadn't realised yet, we're in TOKYO! I love it here.

Anyway, it's the day before Debs's birthday, so I gotta get my act together and cut this fuzz. After a few hours wandering around Shibuya, Harajuku and Omote Sando, we stumble upon a barber shop. We're starving hungry, and on the lookout for a noodle joint that will serve us some food without the "pork bone" broth, but I just have to take the opportunity to get trimmed.

It's all a bit different. No grades, just length, so I get 1mm on the face ("ichi miri"), and 9mm on the head. "Neck shave" - the barber has some functional english - is expertly performed with hot towels, proper foam and a very sharp razor. I come out looking smart and wondering where the hell all the hair on my scalp is going. Even my widow's peak is starting to recede...


Highlights were the hot towels on head and neck, the shaving off of my ear fluff with a cut throat razor(!) and - save the best til last - the ceremonial offer of a fag from a wooden box of cigs at the end of the session! Pure class.

Cost: Y2800 (EUR 17)
Cut quality: 9/10
Fear factor: 0/10

I declined the cigarette, BTW.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 17

"Ben, it's a clean shave! Ben, can you hear me? It's a clean shave!"

The rising panic in Debs' voice almost made me abort the mission, but that's against the rules, which prohibit me from interfering with my chosen barber's methods once he's started, whether or not he's making a balls of things.

So I just had to sit there and try really hard not to laugh, in case it resulted in a neck injury of some description. Two firsts for this cut:

• First trim in a completely outdoor barber shop
• First trim using only a manual set of clippers

In Debs' defence, it does look like a very close shave from this angle, but the end result was deemed satisfactory by all. Artistic commendations to Debs as well on this, the best cut shot of the series so far.

Cost $2
Cut quality 7/10
Fear factor 1/10 (not that the barber was scary, but there was always the possibility of a traffic accident on road behind me)

There are still quite a few uneven bits on my chin, and the sideburn fading is pretty crude, so the marks go down, but bonus points are added back on for location and tool usage. Also, a monk was watching from the window of what I guess was a monastery. Probably jealous of someone who actually has hair.

I would also like to take this opportunity to apologise to the barbers of Vietnam for not availing myself of their services. In the 7 days we spent there, I spotted several excellent-looking "Hot Toc" shops, but the timing was never right to go in. I'm carefully pacing my trims right now so I can get maximum benefit out of what will probably be the most expensive shave of the year in Tokyo! Do they have robot barbers there?

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 16

I didn't really need a cut, but we're in Savannakhet, about to head off for a 3 day trek into the wilderness of the Dong Phu Vieng NPA and I wanted to look a bit presentable for the villagers we meet on the way. Also, Big beards get sweaty.

But it wasn't even big, just kinda grown in... on the way from stubble to beard. Whatever, I don't need a reason to treat myself to a bit of grooming fun, especially when the barbershop looks as cool as this:

Deftly leaping the language barrier by pointing at my face and making a buzzing noise, I lay back in the antique chair and let the guy get to work. Turned out he's a bit of a pro! No need for a guard on the blades - he just used the clippers on grade 0 with a comb to trim me into shape.

Pretty good job, too, although he missed a couple of long, upper-lip stragglers. Tut tut.

Cost 5000 Kip (EUR 0.4)

Cut quality 6/10

Fear factor 1/10

New "cheapest haircut in the world" record!

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 15

I left this one a bit too long. I've been sweating my way through the past week or so with a luxuriant bush covering my chin. No more! The locals in Luang Prabang directed us down the street to a very stimulating little barber shop called whatever this says:


I got the works this time, head and face, and my barber did a meticulous job of everything. Nice and slow with the clippers. Good comb work for that stylish fade effect. Full seat recline during the mouth area cut. Plenty of brushing and slapping to remove hair clippings... and finally a shoulder massage and neck crack - ooyah!

Cost 30000 Kip (EUR 2.20)
Cut quality 8/10
Fear factor 3/10 (slightly worried he was going to break my neck)

Couple of nice bonuses on this one: I was joined in the shop by Ross, who we met on the Gibbon Experience and then slow boated down the Mekong with. He had a proper cut-throat razor face shave, which he said was a bit rough... Also, there was some high-quality soft porn on the walls. Motor oil adverts with coy looking girls, you know the sort of thing. And alongside this, a classy picture of a young gent with a pocket watch and pipe.

Just my kind of place.

Ben

Barbershops of the world - SPECIAL EDITION!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programme to bring you this very exciting newsflash: Debs just got her hair trimmed! More now from our reporter who was on the spot as this momentous event occurred (it's Debs LOL!)

I hate getting my haircut because I always end up with a mess, which I can't wait to grow out, so, I know my hair has been a bit of a mess of late, but I've been trimming it myself for the past 5 months because I've been too scared to visit a hairdressers. Dumb, dumb.

On Saturday, after the Fat music festival in Chiang Rai, Ben spotted a really nice western looking hairdressers and encouraged me to go in before I could change my mind. I was terrified, especially when my instructions were relayed to the hairdresser by a translation, but the haircut is subtle and actually better than most cuts I've had in Amsterdam, and I'm actually happy with the results!


Cost 250B (EUR 5)
Cut quality 9
Fear factor 6

The fear factor was always going to be high, since I'm of a slightly nervous disposition when it comes to haircuts, but being stabbed above the eye with a pair of scissors wasn't something I was expecting, and although he didn't actually draw blood, it did put me on edge somewhat for the rest of the cut.

Debs

Barbershops of the world, part 14

One of the funnier cuts, this, courtesy of "Adbarber" on Ko Lanta, Thailand.

Having established the price was in fact 60 Baht, not 600 for a trim (after the crooks on Ko Phi Phi tried to charge me 200), I sat back in the barber chair... and back, and back and back, until I was completely horizontal! It was all I could do to keep a straight face as the man buzzed my cheeks and bits of hair flew into my mouth. I felt like a corpse on an autopsy slab.


Only 2 problems with the cut - firstly he left my moustache a little long, and then went way too far in the other direction and skinned my upper lip down to little more than a 5 o'clock shadow. Secondly, his clippers nibbled my neck, causing redness. Also, some soreness. See picture below for an illustration of both points.


Cost 60 Baht (EUR 1.30)
Cut quality 5/10
Fear factor 3/10

I would like to add that this was the only actual barber shop I've seen so far in Thailand. All the rest are kinda dingy beauty salons run by dragon ladies. Hopefully Chiang Mai will buck the trend.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 13

Number 13... unlucky for some, but auspicious and delicious for me! In a world exclusive, never before in the history of mankind, super exciting one-off event, I met up with my friend Andreas on his birthday and got simultaneous haircuts! OMFGLOLz!

I had saved up a full 3 weeks worth of growth on my face plus 6 weeks of head fuzz. Andreas was rocking a tufty chin that had been left to grow wild since the end of 2007! Truly, a thicket of facial excitement for some lucky, lucky barbers to trim and prune.

Our fortunate cutters were the experienced gentlemen of Potong Rambut, which is in Seminyak, Bali.


I went for my standard number 3 on top, number 1 on the face, while Andreas, rigid with excitement, opted for smooth cheeks to complement a rather rakish goatee. Cut throat razors were expertly wielded, and - new technique! - a piece of sponge was put to good use picking up all the loose bits of hair that fly around your face. Impressive work!


Cost 15000 Rupiah for me, 7000 for Andreas (EUR 1.10 and 0.50 respectively)
Cut quality 9/10
Fear factor 0/10 for us, but I think the barbers were a bit confused by paparazzi Debs and Henrik

Definitely the best price/quality ratio so far. How can I top this one?

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 12

Dunno what to write about this one... a pretty unremarkable beard trim in a bog standard barber shop in Byron Bay.

Not a very chatty barber this time, despite his Liverpudlian roots. He did clamp my head in a good, firm left-hand grip though, which was both reassuring and disturbing (hence the fear factor score).

One thing I haven't mentioned in past posts is how most barbers always miss a bit. Usually around the chin/ jawline/ moustache area. This one left a tufty patch on my right cheek, which Debs later trimmed off with our 1st aid bandage scissors (also Debs' fringe scissors). Sloppy work, clipsters - sort it out!

Cost 5 AUS dollars (EUR3)
Cut quality 6/10
Fear factor 1/10

Here I am doing robotics outside the shop:

Will my next cut be a quick once over in Brisbane, or will I hold out for an adventure in the wilds of Indonesia... stay tuned!

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 11

I needed to trim my beard so I didn't look like a scruff for Shelley and John's wedding. On Lisa's recommendation I visited an ace little barber shop near Bondi Junction, Sydney.

Check out the faces on my cape! We didn't notice at the time... maybe they weren't there, and it's some sort of religious sign. Who knows?

The old gent who trimmed me had been in the business for 48 years(!) - his long experience resulted in an excellent and thorough job. He even got out the old skool manual clippers to do the tough bits under my nose. Debs was most impressed. Very good!

Cost 6 AUS dollars (EUR3.6)

Cut quality 8/10

Fear factor 0/10

Oh, by the way - in more internet stalking weirdness news, some of my barber shop pictures on Flickr have been favourited by a person/entity calling themself "capelover", check em out... heh!

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 10

Statistics fans will be thrilled to learn the following:

It is day 141 of our journey; so far we have visited 7 countries (8 if you count England); this is the 4th full hair and beard combo cut of the trip (1st one in Cuba, 2nd one in Te Rapa, 3rd in Greymouth); a baby can hear tones with oscillations up to approximately 20,000 Hz, but these frequencies become more difficult to hear as people age.

And so to Bronte, a suburb in the east of Sydney. A nice lady who turns out to be from Odessa, Ukraine (where I once got drunk and saw sailors fighting) trims my head and face using clippers, scissors, combs and a cut throat razor! Extra points for that - first one I've seen since Mexico.

Cost 20 AUS dollars (about EUR 12)

Cut quality 8.5/10

Fear factor 2/10 (even though I was able to charm her by speaking Russian, a blade-wielding Ukrainian is nobody's idea of a good time)

This has been my most expensive haircut yet, but get this - it would have cost even more! Me and Debs did our negotiation double act to slash the price from 30 to 20 AUD , then promptly spent the difference on a couple of freshly made beetroot, apple and celery juices from the shop down the road.

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 9

Here we are in Melbourne, on the lookout for fun.

Enter stage right Arthur's Barber Shop, offering the tantalizing prospect of Modern Styles & Shapes, like these:

How could I resist? My face was all bushy, and after 2 hours spent walking down Chapel St, (SW Melbourne), I needed a break before spending 2 hours walking back up it.

I was also very pleased to find an honest, old school barber in Melbourne. Searching the internets and the Yellow Pages had only garnered a discouraging slew of salons offering overpriced "grooming", "treatments", and the like. I'm no ponce! No sir!

Arthur is a man of Greek descent, and few words. Actually, Arthur isn't his real name; I sneaked a look at his Certificate of Hairdressing - which he got in 1963 - and it bore a longer, Greeker name. So, either he was an impostor, or he'd anglicized his name. Stranger things have happened.

Anyhow, he wields his clipper deftly, and the result was generally very satisfactory, although there was a particularly heavy sprinkling of hairy bits all over my face and shoulders at the end.

Cost 7 AUS dollars (about EUR 4)
Cut quality 7/10
Fear factor 0/10

σας ευχαριστούμε Arthur!

Ben