Reap the whirlwind

...and relax.

Where were we? According to our last post, we were in Phnom Penh. Seems like weeks ago, but apparently it was only 8 days.

Kinda impossible to go into everything we did in detail, so we'll summarise:

• Got in touch with Cambodia's tragic past at S21 (Tuol Sleng - the Khmer Rouge's detention/torture centre) and the Killing Fields at Choeung Ek
• Enjoying watching 16 year old Joe soaking up the fun: his first cocktails, fully enjoying a free beer hour, being pestered by a waitress, becoming a savvy traveller, learning to bargain, crossing the road in Saigon
• Sunrise and sunset at the majestic temples of Angkor
• The 2 Debs having exactly the same food and drink tastes
• Joe's comedy mango-spilling moto-taxi crash in Chau Doc
• Getting up at 4 am about 50% of the time - either for sunrise experiences or hardcore taxi/bus rides
• Dissing the self-important owner of Funky Munky in Siem Reap, who bumped us from our reserved table in favour of some "regulars" - screw you!
• Employing 12 separate modes of transport, including the moto-taxi, remorque, canal boat, etc.
• Joe puking in Poipet (fair enough, it's a shithole)
• No complaints from Joe and Deb, at all - despite several unsatisfactory experiences
• The crazy, crazy waterfights in and around the Khao San Road for Songkran
• 3 countries and 2 border crossings in 10 days

Utterances which quickly became catchphrases:

• Get ready to be sad (Debra, prior to imparting bad news)
• Beer mouth (Ben, explaining why drinking warm beer over ice is less satisfying than drinking cold beer)
• I'm 16! (Joe's shout as he leapt out of the Elephant Bar, Phnom Penh, after his first ever cocktails)
• Communicating with the Vietnamese via the power of mime (Debs was undoubtedly the best at this)
• ST at 8 o'clock (code for pointing out sex tourists to each other)
• "Hreakfrast" (hotel employee in Vinh Long)
• Good, clean feast (Joe longing for some trustworthy food)
• Same same but different (everyone, all over Asia says this - doesn't really make sense unless you've been here)
• I'm out of ammo! (Bangkok, Songkran - HUGE, awesome waterfight)
• I'm totally pumped! (Joe and Debra, all the time)

And two pictures - before and after a Songkran battle. That white crap all over our faces is some sort of chalky stuff. People just wipe it all over you "for luck" I think.


It was too dangerous to take any pictures outside, cos of the immense amounts of water flying around. Just image search "Songkran" and you'll find some.

Goodbye, fellow travellers, you did us proud, and we miss you already.

Ben and Debs

Things of Thailand

Better late than never:

• Sweeping!
• Chang beer makes you ill
• Water bottle landfill
• "Hey you! Where you go?"
• Wats, wats, wats
• Monks!
• Long live the King!
• Bored of banana pancakes
• Ladyboys!
• Reckless minibus drivers
• Hippies
• BBQ corn on the beach
• Tofu in garlic & pepper sauce
• Mopeds

Ben

Up and up we went, higher and higher, until suddenly...

So, yes, I recovered from my bout of sickness thanks to some excellent nursing from Debs.

And a couple of days later there we were in the hills above Chiang Rai, trekking like our lives depended on it. It was nearly enough to give me a relapse, seriously... we were led by Nui, and accompanied by these two strapping young German lads who basically ran up a really, really steep and rocky jungle hill for an hour and a half, while we blundered blindly behind them, stumbling like fools and sweating bullets.

By the time we got to the rather sweet little waterfall I had nothing left in my legs and had completely lost the power of speech! And then we climbed even higher! I thought I would have to be choppered out.


OK, not really, but ouch - I was not ready for such exertions so soon after the illness. Debs also suffered a bit, but not as badly as me.

We finally arrived at the top of the hill where some locals fed us water and tea and prodded Debs until she bought a load of little trinkets off them. Home via a hot spa (fully clothed for modesty) then back to Chiang Rai where we slept the sleep of the righteous.

An awesome achievement to round off our stay in Thailand.

Ben

Barbershops of the world - SPECIAL EDITION!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programme to bring you this very exciting newsflash: Debs just got her hair trimmed! More now from our reporter who was on the spot as this momentous event occurred (it's Debs LOL!)

I hate getting my haircut because I always end up with a mess, which I can't wait to grow out, so, I know my hair has been a bit of a mess of late, but I've been trimming it myself for the past 5 months because I've been too scared to visit a hairdressers. Dumb, dumb.

On Saturday, after the Fat music festival in Chiang Rai, Ben spotted a really nice western looking hairdressers and encouraged me to go in before I could change my mind. I was terrified, especially when my instructions were relayed to the hairdresser by a translation, but the haircut is subtle and actually better than most cuts I've had in Amsterdam, and I'm actually happy with the results!


Cost 250B (EUR 5)
Cut quality 9
Fear factor 6

The fear factor was always going to be high, since I'm of a slightly nervous disposition when it comes to haircuts, but being stabbed above the eye with a pair of scissors wasn't something I was expecting, and although he didn't actually draw blood, it did put me on edge somewhat for the rest of the cut.

Debs

Diarrhoea uh-uh

Oh dear, Ben's sick. It was bound to happen sooner or later I suppose.

It started last night with aching limbs (Dengue Fever? Bird Flu?), followed by diarrhoea, sickness, and a fever of 38.8 (woah momma!) so we're pretty sure he has what we've come to think of as the Chiang Mai downstairs mix-up (traveler's diarrhoea). Bummer.

I've given him a couple of Norfloxacin tablets and a Loperamide, and I think he's getting better. His temperature is now 37.5, but he still has all the other symptoms. Thankfully, I have a traveler's health guide with step-by-step instructions on what to do; a well stocked first aid kit; and an lovely Aunt who's a nurse, dispensing advice via text message - so he's in good hands.

Poor Ben.

Debs, x

Heaven in the hills

The further north we go, the better Thailand gets. We've been in Pai for the past couple of days, and even the stinky hippies aren't getting us down.

The people here are really nice, and we feel like proper people again rather than walking wallets. It' s cheap, cheap, cheap, for everything (except beer of course), no-one hassles us to buy their goods, and for the first time since we've been away, we've felt free to browse the local produce (which, incidentally, is actually nice) without worrying about money or committing ourselves to a purchase - luxury! I won't tell you what I've bought though, because some of them are presents for you lot ;)

Today we had a dreamy day riding through the Thai countryside on a moped, declining invitations to smoke opium (yes, I'm very boring), beeping at chickens, dissing water buffaloes ("smell ya later!"), and swerving round elephants on their way home.

The trip is really exciting now and not at all scary anymore - I think we're getting savvier by the day. I'm so happy! Everyone, quit your jobs and go traveling - it's great!

One more thing. I know it's immature, but there's a cafe here called 'Phu Pai'. How funny is that?!

Debs, x

Protecting your money

Most of the time we're ultra secure about keeping the cash we have on us safe and sound from would be sneak thieves. So far we've not had any trouble at all from this sort of thing, except for the usual overpricing ripoffs you find all over the world.

In fact, the only real money hassle we've had came from an excess of security - PayPal stuck a limitation on my account and withheld a payment to The Gibbon Experience because they were worried somebody had illegally accessed my account and was purloining funds.

All well and good! I'm happy that they have processes in place to detect abnormal activity and protect their customers... but it took a bit long to resolve. Pretty much a week for me going back and forth on emails and via their site to prove that I was me, dammit!

My favourite bit was when they wanted me to access my account and do some stuff from my home computer. Not exactly practical... I ended up sending them a picture of me holding up my passport so they could see I was too legit to quit. I nearly wrote a little sign, like hostages sometimes do, saying "It's OK, nobody's got a gun to my head" but I stopped short.

Anyway, limitation lifted, payment made, really looking forward to swinging with the apes in Laos in a week or so.

Ben

North South divide

We've been in Thailand for a few weeks and have finally made it up North to the real Thailand. The beaches in the South are beautiful, and we thought we'd have a great time, despite warnings that it has been spoiled by mass tourism, but they were right, it has! We couldn't work out where the famous friendly Thais were, but now we know... they're in the North!

We love it when we can meet the locals. We like real food and real experiences at local (or at least fair prices). But then, we also like fresh water on tap, flush toilets and 24 hour a day electricity...

We also like unspoiled beaches with cafes that serve a decent espresso macchiato (Hi Nick!)... but unfortunately in Thailand we have been to a lot of Costa del McDonalds. You feel ripped off and crap and miserable, surrounded by fat Russians and sunburnt Swedes with peeling shoulders and feet cut to ribbons by the knock off Diesel sandals they bought for EUR 1. This is modern Thailand! Argh! These dumbasses come over here for 2 weeks a year, throw their money around and expect meatballs and pizza and all that nonsense. They push up prices, lower quality and expectations, and ruin the local culture for everyone.

What a nasty way to travel.

Chiang Mai on the other hand is great! We're staying in a place for 250 Baht (EUR 6) a night - about a third of the price of the accommodation on the islands - and we've finally found some delicious, hot, hot, hot, Thai food, for proper Thai prices. Feels like we're discovering Thailand for ourselves now, rather than having it shoved down our throats, and it's great.

So far we've done a walking tour which took us to the Warorot Market, where we bought little matching knock-off North Face bags for our upcoming Gibbon Experience adventure; went to the womens prison and were fully body massaged by real life cons(!); had a chat with a monk at Chedi Luang; and had a row over a restaurant scam at the night market where they tried to rip us off for 30 Baht (EUR 0.70!) - we won, naturally.

Today we visited Doi Suthep, a temple in the west of the city, 3500 ft above sea level (even Ben felt sick after the mountainous ascent in the sawngthaew) and were blessed by a monk and given a special bracelet. So cool!

Tomorrow we're hitting the road again for some fun in Pai. Thank god for Northern Thailand. It's such a beautiful culture - I'm thinking less and less about going home now, and more about the adventures still to come.

Debs and Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 14

One of the funnier cuts, this, courtesy of "Adbarber" on Ko Lanta, Thailand.

Having established the price was in fact 60 Baht, not 600 for a trim (after the crooks on Ko Phi Phi tried to charge me 200), I sat back in the barber chair... and back, and back and back, until I was completely horizontal! It was all I could do to keep a straight face as the man buzzed my cheeks and bits of hair flew into my mouth. I felt like a corpse on an autopsy slab.


Only 2 problems with the cut - firstly he left my moustache a little long, and then went way too far in the other direction and skinned my upper lip down to little more than a 5 o'clock shadow. Secondly, his clippers nibbled my neck, causing redness. Also, some soreness. See picture below for an illustration of both points.


Cost 60 Baht (EUR 1.30)
Cut quality 5/10
Fear factor 3/10

I would like to add that this was the only actual barber shop I've seen so far in Thailand. All the rest are kinda dingy beauty salons run by dragon ladies. Hopefully Chiang Mai will buck the trend.

Ben

Island hopping with the Blenches

Bangkok spat us out like a rotten mango - our last day featured a duff market, closed cafe, closing down shop, no barber shops, boring thai boxing, and a rooftop bar that wasn't serving alcohol because it was "pre-election weekend"... what's wrong with voting under the influence?

And so we headed south, to Phuket. Trusting as always in our Lonely Planet guidebook we avoided the crassness of Patong and stayed instead at Kata beach, a bit further south... which wasn't as bad as Patong, but still a bit Costa del Thailand. It was tricky to get any proper local food - but if you're after pizza or swedish meatballs, you're in the right place. We also think we saw a western dude hiring a very young looking girl for the night. How delightful!

Ko Lanta, fortunately, is much nicer. Unspoilt isn't quite the word, but it's easy to get away from the moneyed masses and enjoy the place. We've had a bit of fun here: a short elephant ride on a happy little heffalump to a cave where Debs bashed her head and damaged her sunglasses ("my sunglasses have been compromised"), and a comically inept snorkeling tour around some islands today.

The boat nearly capsized before we'd set foot on it, there was no vegetarian lunch, they almost left someone behind after a snorkeling stop, we paused to help another boat in distress and the engine's battery exploded (loud!)... oh and the chain on our engine snapped. Debs and I declined politely when invited to swim 80m through a pitch black cave to a special beach on the other side. Safety first!

Awesomely, we have also found a great restaurant - Cook kai - which serves a delicious tofu in garlic and pepper sauce. Best washed down with a large Chang :-)

Ben