Things of Laos

Lovely and not so lovely things of Lovely Laos, our fave place so far (even better than Fiji!):

• Sticky rice - the Lao people eat about 500g of sticky rice each, for every meal, every day. And they still love it.
  
• Beer Lao, so crisp, so delicious, so cheap!
• Karaoke on the bus. Dreadful, dreadful karaoke.
  
• Lao Lao ('whisky')
• Stunned silence, followed by "What, don't you know how?", followed by giggles - The response we got from everyone when we said we'd been married for almost 5 years but have no children.
• Bugs on sticks - They'll basically eat anything that moves.
• "You buy one five thousand" - Sung by all the little girls, in exactly the same tune, when trying to sell trinkets to tourists.
• Monks!
  

Debs

Trekking in the NPA

Wow. what a mental couple of days. We're currently in Vietnam, but first I have to tell you about the 3-day trek we did in the Dong Phu Vieng National Protected Area (NPA), Laos.

We first heard about it in a great little booklet called 'Stay Another Day in Laos' which focuses on eco-tourism type activities, and getting down with the locals in Laos - what we love best. The focus of this trek was two Katang villages, where the people believe in the spirits and welcome guests to their village with a baci ceremony as an offering to the spirits. Since the trek is organised by the local tourist office, only runs twice a month, and is almost prohibitively expensive for backpackers (US$150 each), this seemed to be one of the few opportunities in Laos to see a real village, not a touristy one.

We tried to call the tourist office beforehand, and in typical Laos style no-one answered, but since the trek looked so interesting, we took a risk and got on a 8-hour bus from Vientiane to Savannakhet on the off chance that there would be a trek going the next day, and there was. Yes!

The day started with a 4 hour sawngthaew (local transport - a bit like a tuk-tuk but with 2 long benches) ride with some (lots) of locals - great fun! The people in Laos aren't that used to seeing tourists, and think we're hilarious (it's our pointy noses apparently; theirs are flat), so within minutes, we were giggling along with them, letting them try on Ben's ultra strong glasses, sharing cookies, and watching them eat bugs from sticks. Yum.

After a quick stop at the local market to buy lunch and conical hats (little did we know how useful they would be), we set off in another sawngthaew down a very dusty road into the NPA and ate a lunch of sticky rice and vegetables off the forest floor whilst the mosquitoes ate us. Although our guides did their best to accommodate our vegetarianism, Laos food is pretty yucky, and poor Ben had to soldier on through every meal just to keep his food down - I think it's the fishy smell that gets him.

Then after lunch, we walked 8km through dense forest, over rocks, and through fields of bamboo, and arrived at the first Katang village, Vong Si Keo, at about 4pm. The village children ran to greet us, and the whole village seemed genuinely happy that we were there, with our camera - they are all obsessed with digital cameras! The guides ask that tourists ask before taking a picture, and then only take pictures if they can promise to send a copy to the villagers. In a world with no mirrors, and few personal belongings, a photo is a big deal, and soon everyone was posing for photos (which involves pulling a stern face, and never smiling), and giggling at the results.

After the initial mayhem, we put the camera away, and went for a shower, at the village pump, in the middle of the village. Women have to dress modestly, which meant I wasn't allowed to wear a bikini, and had to shower with a sarong on, and an audience - not as easy as it looks. Luckily it was quite dark by then and everything went OK. Village life is great!

Then the baci ceremony! During this ceremony, head members of the villagers made offerings to the spirits, sang local songs, and blessed us whilst tying yellow threads round our wrists; then we all drank Lao Lao (paint stripper strong "whisky") and Ben and I sang "I'm forever blowing bubbles" and "You are my sunshine" to the claps of the villagers. Very surreal.

We retired early, and slept like babies - helped along by the Lao Lao and our aching legs. If only we'd known how difficult the next day was going to be.

It was hell. We set off at for an 18km trek in the sweltering heat. No joke, it was 35 degrees outside! After marching through the first 8km, I stumbled one too many times, and started crying, snotting out "I'm too hot!" Oh dear. Bit embarrassing, but it just all got too much, and even the guides were struggling. It was really hot, and I was seriously worried about our health - since the guides only supplied us with 2 litres of water each - definitely not enough. Anyway, after the initial shock, we took it a bit easier, soldiered on through the other 10km and made it to Yang village, dreaming about our promised swim in the Xe Bang Hieng river. Bliss!

The river was a joy. Ben said he felt reborn, and I dropped the wet sarong I was trying to get dressed underneath, and showed a local boy my muff! Oops! Here's Ben washing our clothes in the river:

We loved Yang village. The family we stayed with were a joy. We arrived to the sight of the little girl ripping the wings from a live cicada (a flying bug) and eating it. Whoah! There were 5 children in the family, who were all really inquisitive, and delighted that we let them use our camera to take pictures of each other, which they did for about an hour.

After dinner there was an enormous rain storm, and the men of the village spent all night collecting frogs. We woke to the sound of a bag of croaking frogs on the veranda, and looked on as the villagers rejoiced. These 2 girls were very happy with their new pets - not sure the puffed up frogs are so happy though...

Anyway, then it was time to say goodbye to the villagers, and goodbye to Laos. Ben and I both feel a great connection to Laos and really grateful to the Laos people for being so warm and generous. We had some amazing times there. Thanks Laos, we'll miss you. Here's Debs crying at the Laos/ Vietnam border. Bring on the noise!

Debs

Barbershops of the world, part 16

I didn't really need a cut, but we're in Savannakhet, about to head off for a 3 day trek into the wilderness of the Dong Phu Vieng NPA and I wanted to look a bit presentable for the villagers we meet on the way. Also, Big beards get sweaty.

But it wasn't even big, just kinda grown in... on the way from stubble to beard. Whatever, I don't need a reason to treat myself to a bit of grooming fun, especially when the barbershop looks as cool as this:

Deftly leaping the language barrier by pointing at my face and making a buzzing noise, I lay back in the antique chair and let the guy get to work. Turned out he's a bit of a pro! No need for a guard on the blades - he just used the clippers on grade 0 with a comb to trim me into shape.

Pretty good job, too, although he missed a couple of long, upper-lip stragglers. Tut tut.

Cost 5000 Kip (EUR 0.4)

Cut quality 6/10

Fear factor 1/10

New "cheapest haircut in the world" record!

Ben

Please be modest

Dress correct, dammit!

We've seen a damn sight too many people totally disrespecting local customs and mores in this part of the world.

Fair enough, Debs wouldn't wear a full Burkah or anything, but when it comes to simply covering your shoulders to avoid offending the old ladies, where's the harm in that? Similarly, it doesn't take a genius to work out that mincing down the high street in Vang Vieng wearing only a bikini isn't exactly the height of decorum.

Idiots!

Ben and Debs

Watery fun

It's been a wet week in Laos, and refreshingly, not all the moisture was sweat!

First there was the rather splendid Kuang Si waterfall 30KM outside Luang Prabang - actually worth visiting and genuinely beautiful, unlike a lot of the other waterfall tours we've seen on our trip. It's an impressive, multi-level cascade interspersed with milky turquoise pools suitable for swimming, all in a delightful woodland setting. Nice chilly water, relaxing spot, good fun all round, especially for the cheeky Italian boys Debs spotted "subtly" taking pictures of girls in bikinis - those red-blooded mediterraneans!

That was pretty much it for Luang Prabang, so we hopped on a pretty uncomfortable bus to Vang Vieng. The 6 hour ride featured the worst on-board entertainment EVER, in the shape of a series of Lao karaoke hits: crap songs, along with dreadful videos which made very little sense at all. You know the sort of thing - boy meets girl, they make soppy faces at each other, then there's some sort of misunderstanding (possibly involving a moped) after which they sort of chase each other a bit, she falls down a tiny flight of stairs, they make friends again... and then she walks off into the sunset with her dog - WTF? The other noteworthy thing about the bus ride - apart from the stunning mountainous scenery - was Debs trying to use the smallest toilet in the world. The ceiling was literally only 3 feet hight, so you could barely crouch, didn't have enough room to pull trousers up/ down inside the toilet, got splashed by the mandi (bucket of water for flushing the toilet) every time the bus went round a bend (constantly), and couldn't close the door. Glad we paid extra for that 'facility'.

Er... right, so here's what you do in Vang Vieng: go tubing! This involves floating down the Nam Song river in an inflated tractor tyre inner tube, taking in yet more stunning mountainous scenery. We had heard that there were one or two riverside bars on the way down too. Quite an understatement! Rickety bamboo structures lined the banks for large parts of the trip, complete with pumping sound systems, rope swings and other dangerous activities, plus friendly little dudes who threw you a line then dragged you into shore so you could relieve them of a couple of bottles of Beer Lao. It was all good fun, but a little bit tacky in a "let's partaaayyyy!" type way.


One other big shout out goes to the Organic Farm in Vang Vieng. Home of killer mulberry shakes, mulberry pancakes, mulberry mojitos, mulberry leaves fried up tempura style and a whole load of hippies (we hate hippies). We did a little bit of volunteering, attempting to teach local kids some english and some basic computer skills, so we did our bit for cultural relations. And the rest of the time we relaxed and tried not to get ripped off by the tuk tuk drivers and bus ticket sales dudes. Harder than it sounds. Vang Vieng has definitely suffered from the huge swathes of tourists who flock to the place to drink/ take drugs and spend money. Unfortunately, it's made the locals become a bit like the money grabbing touts we so disliked in Thailand.

But the tubing was lovely, even if the bar scene kinda ruined the outstanding natural beauty of the place.

Ben

Monk walk!

Up very early one morning in Luang Prabang, we were lucky enough to catch this procession of monks collecting alms from the locals, as well as some (about a dozen) tourists.

A privilege to see!

Ben

Barbershops of the world, part 15

I left this one a bit too long. I've been sweating my way through the past week or so with a luxuriant bush covering my chin. No more! The locals in Luang Prabang directed us down the street to a very stimulating little barber shop called whatever this says:


I got the works this time, head and face, and my barber did a meticulous job of everything. Nice and slow with the clippers. Good comb work for that stylish fade effect. Full seat recline during the mouth area cut. Plenty of brushing and slapping to remove hair clippings... and finally a shoulder massage and neck crack - ooyah!

Cost 30000 Kip (EUR 2.20)
Cut quality 8/10
Fear factor 3/10 (slightly worried he was going to break my neck)

Couple of nice bonuses on this one: I was joined in the shop by Ross, who we met on the Gibbon Experience and then slow boated down the Mekong with. He had a proper cut-throat razor face shave, which he said was a bit rough... Also, there was some high-quality soft porn on the walls. Motor oil adverts with coy looking girls, you know the sort of thing. And alongside this, a classy picture of a young gent with a pocket watch and pipe.

Just my kind of place.

Ben

St Patrick's day on a slow boat down the Mekong

You can always rely on the Irish to brighten up an otherwise potentially dull trip. We met some Irish brothers - Gav and Matt ("R") on The Gibbon Experience about 4 days ago, and Ben's been drunk ever since...! With a few modes of transportation available (almost certain death on a speed boat down the Mekong (6 hours); a bus ride on shitty roads with locals and their livestock (1 day); or a pleasant 2 day cruise down the Mekong with the Irish on St. Patrick's day) we chose the later option, and merrily floated towards Luang Prabang along the brown, smelly Mekong. Great fun! The Irish were drunk by midday on both days (maybe there's a boxing day of St Patrick's Day..) and provided a lot of entertainment.

We're now in Luang Prabang, salavating at all the eco-tourism fun to be had. So far we've been to Big Brother Mouse to buy some books, which we plan to give to kids in a village in the South, and we're about to go to the Stay Another Day exhibition to inspire us further. Love it already!

Debs

Why did the monkey get lost?

Sorry we haven't blogged for a bit. Hope you haven't missed us, but we've literally been having the time of our lives in Laos. Wow! We took a VIP bus (dontcha know) to Chiang Khong and made a remarkably easy border crossing into Huay Xai, Laos where we had an appointment with some gibbons.

Where to start with the report on the next few days at The Gibbon Experience?! We first heard about it from some guys in a campsite in Byron Bay, Australia, and now know how lucky we were, since it's only advertised by word of mouth and not in any of the guide books (yet - a documentary crew was arriving to make a film about it as we left).

The place was set up by a French guy, who we were lucky enough to meet when we invited some "fellow zippers" up to our tree house for a cup of tea, who claimed he came up with the idea whilst "on dope". Makes sense, The place is a triumph - an eco-project set up in the middle of Bokeo Nature Reserve which aims to provide the locals with a sustainable level of income for years to come, and farangs (foreigners) with a whole lot of fun by buiding tree houses accessible primarily via zip lines. So much fun!

We slept in the love shack - a 2 person bungalow, which was mercifully free of rats and mice for 2 nights, and spent 2 days sweating profusely whilst climbing up to the zip lines where we zoomed up to 150m above the forest floor, for distances of 500m at a time.

Initially terrifying, this soon became an awe-inspiring if exhausting way of seeing the jungle. Setting off in the half light at 6am to try to see some gibbons was just a majestic sight - all mist rising off the trees and animals singing to the rising sun...

It was slightly disappointing to not actually see any gibbons, but the overall experience was worth every penny and more of the EUR 132 per person we paid.

We had several Health and Safety conversations with fellow gibboneers along the lines of "There is no way they'd be allowed to do this in England". There was a short video briefing about how to put on your harness, and how to safely attach the runner to the zip line... and that was pretty much it. The owner later explained that he deliberately left it that way to encourage a sense of personal responsibility - bravo! - rather than babying people into laziness and a cavalier attitude which would surely lead to more accidents.

...this is why we came away. An absolutely awesome, life-affirming thing to do, and an incredibly inspiring project to be able to support. We feel very lucky that we were able to do this now, before word really gets out and the tourists get in.

Debs and Ben

P.S. The answer to the question is: "Because jungle is massive!" but you probably only get this if you were between the ages of 15 and 25 in the early 90s...