The standard questions
Where are you coming from?
What's your good name?
I take one photo?
You have one (school) pen? (Debs once misheard this as "disculpe?" and was whisked back to Mexico. Not really, just in her mind.)
What's your state? (To which I was always tempted to reply "I'm a solid", but I'm not really sure that's right - I'm actually mostly liquid. Troublesome stuff innit?)
Anything else? Coffee? Bill? (As you take the first mouthful of your meal - Debs hated this)
The place
Car horns, psycho drivers etc
Pervs and gropers
"Helpful" people who intervene when you're in a shop waiting to be served, taking it upon themselves to be your middleman for the impossible task of buying a bottle of water.
Staring. Always, always staring. At us.
Charmingly antiquated use of English: "She left me high and dry", "He caused a right rumpus" etc.
When anything is rubbish or goes wrong, "politics" is to blame.
Overused words
Dickhead
Colourful
Retards / retarded
Enthusiastic
Shit / shithole
Delicious
Incompetent
Liars
Nosy
Incredible (in an exasperated way, not admiringly)
Our sayings
"India has made us old"
"I don't recognize myself any more - I've turned into a horrible person"
See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!
Ben and Debs
Showing posts with label India. Show all posts
Showing posts with label India. Show all posts
Saturday, 5 July 2008
Friday, 4 July 2008
Burgers, chocs and thalis. And BEER!
Bombay is LUXURY compared to the last 2 months. Our hotel - Landmark Annexe, aka Prince Hotel, depending on who you speak to/what day it is - is incredibly plush. Free bottles of water, cups of tea, a proper, super comfy double bed, flat screen TV with loads of good movies, a real hot shower, and friendly staff. All this for Rs 3850 a night (EUR 55ish). It's the most we've spent on any hotel anywhere on this trip, but it's one of the nicest rooms we've ever stayed in. Ever! And we really weren't expecting much for our money in Mumbai, which is notorious for expensive crap rooms... or nice rooms for about double what we're paying. We are lucky people!
So we've had a good time here. Samrat served us a delicious thali, and beer, and then we bought some really good chocolates at their little deli downstairs. They didn't last very long. Last night we had a mini bar crawl down in Colaba, hitting Leopolds (of Shantaram fame) and Mondegar for beers and overpriced/substandard snacks.
But the best food fun was the Bombay burgers we picked up for Rs 6 each (EUR 0.1) by Churchgate station. Delicious little fried potato and fresh coriander bhaji things. All crisp on the outside and soft in the middle, squashed into a soft white bap with added chilli powder for extra excitement. Great breakfast. So good we had 2 each. Yum!
This morning wasn't so good - it took us 2 hours to post a parcel back home. Kinda unsurprising, really - it's totally emblematic of our disappointment with India, where even the simplest activity gets ludicrously overcomplicated, allowing literally dozens of bumbling incompetents to interfere, and hinder the successful conclusion of your business. "Dickheads!" says Debs. Quite so. First time I've seen sealing wax used in real life, too.
We'll be singing with happiness on the way out to the airport tomorrow. Fingers crossed the rain doesn't go mental and delay the flight too much.
Ben and Debs
So we've had a good time here. Samrat served us a delicious thali, and beer, and then we bought some really good chocolates at their little deli downstairs. They didn't last very long. Last night we had a mini bar crawl down in Colaba, hitting Leopolds (of Shantaram fame) and Mondegar for beers and overpriced/substandard snacks.
But the best food fun was the Bombay burgers we picked up for Rs 6 each (EUR 0.1) by Churchgate station. Delicious little fried potato and fresh coriander bhaji things. All crisp on the outside and soft in the middle, squashed into a soft white bap with added chilli powder for extra excitement. Great breakfast. So good we had 2 each. Yum!
This morning wasn't so good - it took us 2 hours to post a parcel back home. Kinda unsurprising, really - it's totally emblematic of our disappointment with India, where even the simplest activity gets ludicrously overcomplicated, allowing literally dozens of bumbling incompetents to interfere, and hinder the successful conclusion of your business. "Dickheads!" says Debs. Quite so. First time I've seen sealing wax used in real life, too.
We'll be singing with happiness on the way out to the airport tomorrow. Fingers crossed the rain doesn't go mental and delay the flight too much.
Ben and Debs
Barbershops of the world, part 24
I never made it to a barber in Agra. There was a cool looking one in the Taj Ganj area, but it was too early in the morning and there were too many damn flies buzzing around. And you couldn't see the Taj Mahal from it, so - no point.
So I ended up with a quick and slightly pricey beard snip in Colaba, Mumbai. Asif, my barber, seemed like a friendly enough guy, but he quickly lost interest in being nice when I turned down his offer of a "good massage" for the third time. Meanwhile, his colleague was pestering Debs with facial massage offers - also refused, cos we can do all that business ourselves now.
So Asif continued to whisper creepily to me about massages, while squeezing my bicep and running the clippers over my face in a desultory manner. Hence the fear factor. I dunno why they're so secretive about it. Debs reckons it's cos they're secret gaylords who can't resist a hairy man in a vest :-)
[Pic to follow, the internet cafes here are really grotty and I don't want to stick my USB in their virus-ridden sockets]
Cost Rs 65 (EUR 1)
Cut quality 6/10
Fear factor 2/10
So, not a brilliant cut, but at least my face is tidy enough to avoid being catcalled "Ali Baba" on the flight back to London... which is tomorrow, w00t w00t! See ya later India, I'm off to get shaved in Turkey.
Ben
So I ended up with a quick and slightly pricey beard snip in Colaba, Mumbai. Asif, my barber, seemed like a friendly enough guy, but he quickly lost interest in being nice when I turned down his offer of a "good massage" for the third time. Meanwhile, his colleague was pestering Debs with facial massage offers - also refused, cos we can do all that business ourselves now.
So Asif continued to whisper creepily to me about massages, while squeezing my bicep and running the clippers over my face in a desultory manner. Hence the fear factor. I dunno why they're so secretive about it. Debs reckons it's cos they're secret gaylords who can't resist a hairy man in a vest :-)
[Pic to follow, the internet cafes here are really grotty and I don't want to stick my USB in their virus-ridden sockets]
Cost Rs 65 (EUR 1)
Cut quality 6/10
Fear factor 2/10
So, not a brilliant cut, but at least my face is tidy enough to avoid being catcalled "Ali Baba" on the flight back to London... which is tomorrow, w00t w00t! See ya later India, I'm off to get shaved in Turkey.
Ben
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
The last bits
This last part is like doing the best bits of India in a concentrated burst, and it's fun! We zipped through Agra to see the Taj Mahal: nice palace, shame about the town. Seriously, the palace/mausoleum is genuinely beautiful, especially at 6 in the morning when it's not thronged with noisy Indians. I'd throng it too, if I were them: while it costs foreigners Rs750 (EUR 12) each for entrance, they get to waltz in for Rs20 (EUR 0.30). So we wandered around, feeling quite peaceful and a bit dazed cos it was super early, played with some chipmunks, made some hooting noises inside the dome which had a major delay/echo/drone effect going on, giggled at some other tourists who had been unable to shake off the persistent guides and then headed off to see Agra Fort.
...which is another stunning building. Big, bold and full of good bits. Another them/us price gouge on entry but we really don't mind when the place is so good. The only thing we wonder is what's happening to all the money? It certainly isn't going anywhere near improving Agra town itself, which is stunningly ramshackle when you consider the cultural gems it houses. I've never seen so many flies! And the electricity was constantly off and on again, supposedly because of the monsoon, but it didn't seem to make any difference whether it was raining or not.
Pictures of both of the above to follow, BTW. Can't be bothered to upload them right now on this antediluvian computer.
After the Taj and the Fort, our favourite thing was Dasaprakash, a South Indian restaurant just down the way from our hotel. They had mind-blowingly good dosas and channa bathura. We tipped extravagantly and left fat and happy every time. Yum!
We're in Mumbai now, staying in a very plush hotel and enjoying the delights of civilisation once more, like, hot showers that are actually hot, TV with decent reception etc etc. Looking forward to doing some shopping, eating a Bombay Burger or two, and updating our flight ticket so we can get the hell outta here on Saturday.
Ben
...which is another stunning building. Big, bold and full of good bits. Another them/us price gouge on entry but we really don't mind when the place is so good. The only thing we wonder is what's happening to all the money? It certainly isn't going anywhere near improving Agra town itself, which is stunningly ramshackle when you consider the cultural gems it houses. I've never seen so many flies! And the electricity was constantly off and on again, supposedly because of the monsoon, but it didn't seem to make any difference whether it was raining or not.
Pictures of both of the above to follow, BTW. Can't be bothered to upload them right now on this antediluvian computer.
After the Taj and the Fort, our favourite thing was Dasaprakash, a South Indian restaurant just down the way from our hotel. They had mind-blowingly good dosas and channa bathura. We tipped extravagantly and left fat and happy every time. Yum!
We're in Mumbai now, staying in a very plush hotel and enjoying the delights of civilisation once more, like, hot showers that are actually hot, TV with decent reception etc etc. Looking forward to doing some shopping, eating a Bombay Burger or two, and updating our flight ticket so we can get the hell outta here on Saturday.
Ben
India vs Turkey
Just arrived in Mumbai, 5 hours late cos the train had to swim the last 150KM or so.
Logged in to iGoogle and saw the weather forecasts for here, and also (roughly) where we'll be in a week's time. SunLOLz!
Looking forward to Tai Chi on the beach, a glass or two of wine, olives, mezze and all the rest.
Gonna need some new shades and a new hat. The old one went all mouldy.
Ben
Logged in to iGoogle and saw the weather forecasts for here, and also (roughly) where we'll be in a week's time. SunLOLz!
Looking forward to Tai Chi on the beach, a glass or two of wine, olives, mezze and all the rest.Gonna need some new shades and a new hat. The old one went all mouldy.
Ben
Friday, 27 June 2008
Only 9 days to go!
Today we're leaving McLeod Ganj after more than 2 weeks of something approaching a routine - my favourite part being the coffee and cake, every afternoon :)
Thanks to the cooking class at The Taste of India, we now know how to make samosas. The secret is to put thyme seeds in the dough.
Just a night in Delhi, a trip to the Taj Mahal, and a few days in Bombay left until we can leave India! We're counting down the days - only 9 days to go!
Debs
Thanks to the cooking class at The Taste of India, we now know how to make samosas. The secret is to put thyme seeds in the dough.
Just a night in Delhi, a trip to the Taj Mahal, and a few days in Bombay left until we can leave India! We're counting down the days - only 9 days to go!
Debs
Monday, 23 June 2008
We're going on holiday!
We've squeezed as much fun as we know how to have out of India's, so we're moving on. In about 2 weeks we'll be in Turkey, on holiday! We're so excited! We originally planned to end our trip on the beach in Goa, but it's monsoon season, so we're bailing for sunnier shores.
Ben did a fantastic job of searching for a hotel, as always, and found the Viewpoint Hotel in Patara, so we're going there. It gets great reviews on Tripadvisor, and there's even a comment on how nice their Turkish breakfasts are (as recommended by Ben's dad). Cheese, olives, tomatoes and cucumbers for breakfast sounds like a winner to me too, Tony :)
We're staying here another week so Ben can finish Tai Chi, then taking the train - 1st class! - to Agra to see the Taj Mahal. After that we head to Bombay for a few days, then we're flying to London, dossing in Gatwick overnight then zooming straight off to Turkey. It's a plan!
Debs and Ben
Ben did a fantastic job of searching for a hotel, as always, and found the Viewpoint Hotel in Patara, so we're going there. It gets great reviews on Tripadvisor, and there's even a comment on how nice their Turkish breakfasts are (as recommended by Ben's dad). Cheese, olives, tomatoes and cucumbers for breakfast sounds like a winner to me too, Tony :)
We're staying here another week so Ben can finish Tai Chi, then taking the train - 1st class! - to Agra to see the Taj Mahal. After that we head to Bombay for a few days, then we're flying to London, dossing in Gatwick overnight then zooming straight off to Turkey. It's a plan!
Debs and Ben
Healing hands
We're learning Tibetan Massage, and it's a lot of fun. The class is a 5 day, hands-on course, so we take it in turns to try out each of the massage moves on each other, and each lesson focuses on a different area of the body.
As you can imagine, we've done a lot of giggling, especially when it came to the butt massage. Hoo! But it's been really useful, and hopefully we'll remember how to do it when we get home. Our fave by far (and the easiest) has been the face massage, which is heaven. Amusingly, Ben loves the nose massage.
It's really interesting how one pressure point on the body can say about another part. I really like it when he tell us where to press to cure illness or pain in another part of the body. he's told us how to increase flexibility, ease the affects of asthma, help to encourage pregnancy (one hour after sex, rub the hands over the stomach in a circular motion).
Last night I mentioned to Dondhup, our teacher that I've been constipated for about 2 months (yes, throughout India. Ridiculous), hoping he'd give me a cure, and he suggested drinking some of the local water. Right, thanks ;)
Today, Ben also rediscovered some funny little lumps on his left shoulder. They look like alien worm egg bumps or something, and they flare up for about 1 minute then subside. This happened the other day after a hot shower too. Hmmm...
Debs
As you can imagine, we've done a lot of giggling, especially when it came to the butt massage. Hoo! But it's been really useful, and hopefully we'll remember how to do it when we get home. Our fave by far (and the easiest) has been the face massage, which is heaven. Amusingly, Ben loves the nose massage.
It's really interesting how one pressure point on the body can say about another part. I really like it when he tell us where to press to cure illness or pain in another part of the body. he's told us how to increase flexibility, ease the affects of asthma, help to encourage pregnancy (one hour after sex, rub the hands over the stomach in a circular motion).
Last night I mentioned to Dondhup, our teacher that I've been constipated for about 2 months (yes, throughout India. Ridiculous), hoping he'd give me a cure, and he suggested drinking some of the local water. Right, thanks ;)
Today, Ben also rediscovered some funny little lumps on his left shoulder. They look like alien worm egg bumps or something, and they flare up for about 1 minute then subside. This happened the other day after a hot shower too. Hmmm...
Debs
Saturday, 21 June 2008
Tight hips? No problem!
Yes, I have tight hips, and extreme inflexibility, but it hasn't stopped me grunting through a six-day course of Ashtanga (power) yoga at Universal Yoga in Mcleod Ganj, no sir-ree!
Ashtanga yoga is really hard. I bet it's the one Madonna does. It's really physical, and we were pushed hard for the full two and a half hours of each lesson.
It was a little intimidating at first. I was easily the least competent in a class full of about twenty yoga masters, who knew all the moves and how to breathe properly but I just went for it.
There was a beginners side, luckily (that contained lots of people who didn't look at all like beginners), and the teacher, a Gandi-like Indian man called Vijay, was firm but fair, and gave lots of instructions ("If you have tight-hips, sit on the block"; "If you're inflexible, use the rope"). I had a few mishaps (whacking my arms on the mat, really hard, whilst trying to put my legs behind my head; almost dislocating my hip trying to get my foot over my head; pulling a muscle or something, which resulted in pain shooting through my ankle each time I stretched my legs out in front of me, etc). However, after a low point on the third lesson, where I was really annoyed at my level of inflexibility, and didn't see how it was possible to move in the way we were being instructed to, I think I did gain some flexibility, and some understanding of how to adapt the moves to suit my body, and I actually started to enjoy myself. By the end of the course, I'd mastered most of the moves, and Vijay even told a fellow tight-hipped man to "follow her". Wooh!
So I feel really pleased that I completed the course, because it was really tough, and it hurt!
I've had a great week here, and we're here for another week. Ben spent last week doing 13 form Tai Chi, and is doing 24 form this week, and we're both taking a Tibetan Massage course, which is hilarious, and we love.
So everything's good, and incase you can't tell, I'm back! I've been miserable for the last two months. India broke my spirit for a while there, so badly that I literally didn't recognise myself in the mirror (boo hoo!), but thanks to a busy schedule, I'm actually happy again for the first time in ages and have started smiling again. Horray!
Debs
Ashtanga yoga is really hard. I bet it's the one Madonna does. It's really physical, and we were pushed hard for the full two and a half hours of each lesson.
It was a little intimidating at first. I was easily the least competent in a class full of about twenty yoga masters, who knew all the moves and how to breathe properly but I just went for it.
There was a beginners side, luckily (that contained lots of people who didn't look at all like beginners), and the teacher, a Gandi-like Indian man called Vijay, was firm but fair, and gave lots of instructions ("If you have tight-hips, sit on the block"; "If you're inflexible, use the rope"). I had a few mishaps (whacking my arms on the mat, really hard, whilst trying to put my legs behind my head; almost dislocating my hip trying to get my foot over my head; pulling a muscle or something, which resulted in pain shooting through my ankle each time I stretched my legs out in front of me, etc). However, after a low point on the third lesson, where I was really annoyed at my level of inflexibility, and didn't see how it was possible to move in the way we were being instructed to, I think I did gain some flexibility, and some understanding of how to adapt the moves to suit my body, and I actually started to enjoy myself. By the end of the course, I'd mastered most of the moves, and Vijay even told a fellow tight-hipped man to "follow her". Wooh!
So I feel really pleased that I completed the course, because it was really tough, and it hurt!
I've had a great week here, and we're here for another week. Ben spent last week doing 13 form Tai Chi, and is doing 24 form this week, and we're both taking a Tibetan Massage course, which is hilarious, and we love.
So everything's good, and incase you can't tell, I'm back! I've been miserable for the last two months. India broke my spirit for a while there, so badly that I literally didn't recognise myself in the mirror (boo hoo!), but thanks to a busy schedule, I'm actually happy again for the first time in ages and have started smiling again. Horray!
Debs
Elbow attack to the heart!
Best fun in India so far! For the past week I've been spending 2 hours a day having private Tai Chi lessons with Jamyang, my super solidly built, incredibly flexible teacher.
Already he's taught me the 13 form (Yang style) and we're halfway through the 24 form now. It's totally bostin! Last year I took 6 months of lessons back in Amsterdam. Fun, but at 1 hour per week in a group class, progress was slow. This is a different animal altogether. I glide and stretch and flow up on Jamyang's roof (weather permitting) with views over the hills and valleys of McLeod Ganj and Dharamsala, while eagles wheel and soar over our heads. A crow even tried to shit on my head this morning, but I was too damn quick for him.
The best bit - apart from 2 hours of slow motion exercise to lively up my body first thing in the morning - is the names of the positions that make up the forms. Try Fair Lady Works with Shuttles on for size, or how about Part the Wild Horse's Mane? My all time favourite is Elbow Attack to the Heart - great name, fantastic position (pic below)! But that might be cos I haven't got to Snake Creeps Down yet.
Anyway, by the time I finish this course off, I'll be totally equipped to repel any physical attack to my person... as long as it happens in slow motion. Ward off!
Ben
Already he's taught me the 13 form (Yang style) and we're halfway through the 24 form now. It's totally bostin! Last year I took 6 months of lessons back in Amsterdam. Fun, but at 1 hour per week in a group class, progress was slow. This is a different animal altogether. I glide and stretch and flow up on Jamyang's roof (weather permitting) with views over the hills and valleys of McLeod Ganj and Dharamsala, while eagles wheel and soar over our heads. A crow even tried to shit on my head this morning, but I was too damn quick for him.
The best bit - apart from 2 hours of slow motion exercise to lively up my body first thing in the morning - is the names of the positions that make up the forms. Try Fair Lady Works with Shuttles on for size, or how about Part the Wild Horse's Mane? My all time favourite is Elbow Attack to the Heart - great name, fantastic position (pic below)! But that might be cos I haven't got to Snake Creeps Down yet.
Anyway, by the time I finish this course off, I'll be totally equipped to repel any physical attack to my person... as long as it happens in slow motion. Ward off!Ben
Barbershops of the world, part 23
McLeod Ganj is a small place with lots of barber shops. Debs selected the busiest one for me - no name - but then wasn't impressed with the price. Popularity breeds ripoffs. Ain't it always the way?
This time I needed the works: head and face; grades 2 and 1 respectively. Slightly cramped seating in here, but it didn't seem to hamper my barber who did a nice crisp job all round. No stray bits, nicely tripped upper lip, fresh blade in the razor for fluff removal, talc and brush then atomiser water spray and face wipe to remove bits at the end.
He even did a firm head massage for 5 minutes to round it all off. Nice and all that, but I'm not sure if that vigorous rubbing either side of my widow's peak is going to encourage hair growth or just pull out what little hair remains there.
Cost Rs 120 (EUR 1.90)
Cut quality 8/10
Fear factor 0/10
Next one should be in Agra, hopefully in the shadow of the Taj. "Fat chance", says Debs.
Ben
This time I needed the works: head and face; grades 2 and 1 respectively. Slightly cramped seating in here, but it didn't seem to hamper my barber who did a nice crisp job all round. No stray bits, nicely tripped upper lip, fresh blade in the razor for fluff removal, talc and brush then atomiser water spray and face wipe to remove bits at the end.
He even did a firm head massage for 5 minutes to round it all off. Nice and all that, but I'm not sure if that vigorous rubbing either side of my widow's peak is going to encourage hair growth or just pull out what little hair remains there.
Cost Rs 120 (EUR 1.90)
Cut quality 8/10
Fear factor 0/10
Next one should be in Agra, hopefully in the shadow of the Taj. "Fat chance", says Debs.
Ben
Saturday, 14 June 2008
Life in the clouds
This is more like it. We made it up to McLeod Ganj on Thursday and have spent the last 2 days drifting around in the mist, enjoying the cool temperatures and being teased by the cheeky waiters in the restaurants.
Apparently the views up here are pretty spectacular. Shame we can't really see them properly at the moment - we just catch glimpses through gaps in the cloud. And then there's the rain. Seems the monsoon has rocketed up to the north of India about a month early. Last night it bucketed down for about 6 or 7 hours straight. Super crazy thunderstorm action that kept knocking out our hotel's electricity like an EMP - pretty impressive! Fortunately it had stopped by midnight so I could watch the Netherlands whip France 4-1 at football.
It's a lot less mental up here, and we're really enjoying the place and the atmosphere. We're definitely going to stay for at least a week, maybe 2, and just did a bit of research into the various courses you can do up here. So far we have rejected a 10-day introduction to Buddhism cos we would have had to sleep apart and remain silent for the entire duration of the course. The thought of Debs not saying a word for even 10 minutes is pretty funny, but 10 days? LOLz!
So I'm going to check out some T'ai-Chi stuff and Debs is looking at Yoga classes. Maybe also Tibetan massage. Definitely some cooking classes too; hope we can find ones that are more hands-on than the last one we tried, where we just sat there making notes while Mrs Roy did all the prep and cooking.
6 weeks of our year off remain, and it's natural that we're starting to look forward to going home and getting plugged back into our working lives and networks again. What both of us are most looking forward to though, is a cold glass of crisp Heineken, getting back into our kitchen, and sleeping together in our own double bed (instead of two singles pushed together).
So I've got about 42 days to come up with a decent name for my new company that somebody hasn't already thought of and nabbed the URL for. Oh! I just had a new idea... watch this space!
Ben
Apparently the views up here are pretty spectacular. Shame we can't really see them properly at the moment - we just catch glimpses through gaps in the cloud. And then there's the rain. Seems the monsoon has rocketed up to the north of India about a month early. Last night it bucketed down for about 6 or 7 hours straight. Super crazy thunderstorm action that kept knocking out our hotel's electricity like an EMP - pretty impressive! Fortunately it had stopped by midnight so I could watch the Netherlands whip France 4-1 at football.
It's a lot less mental up here, and we're really enjoying the place and the atmosphere. We're definitely going to stay for at least a week, maybe 2, and just did a bit of research into the various courses you can do up here. So far we have rejected a 10-day introduction to Buddhism cos we would have had to sleep apart and remain silent for the entire duration of the course. The thought of Debs not saying a word for even 10 minutes is pretty funny, but 10 days? LOLz!
So I'm going to check out some T'ai-Chi stuff and Debs is looking at Yoga classes. Maybe also Tibetan massage. Definitely some cooking classes too; hope we can find ones that are more hands-on than the last one we tried, where we just sat there making notes while Mrs Roy did all the prep and cooking.
6 weeks of our year off remain, and it's natural that we're starting to look forward to going home and getting plugged back into our working lives and networks again. What both of us are most looking forward to though, is a cold glass of crisp Heineken, getting back into our kitchen, and sleeping together in our own double bed (instead of two singles pushed together).
So I've got about 42 days to come up with a decent name for my new company that somebody hasn't already thought of and nabbed the URL for. Oh! I just had a new idea... watch this space!
Ben
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Dire Straits Debs
India is impossible to work out, and unfortunately, it's also full of creeps.
I'm in dire straits! I really, really want to like it here, but I just don't. Poor Ben (who's also fed up, but not as fed up as me) is getting increasingly frustrated by my "I hate it here" tears and tantrums. Damn it.
I do have a few 'Indian' advisors in Steve and Zoe (lived in Mumbai for two years, also hated it), and Peter Landa (who's travelled here loads with his lovely, talented, Indian singer and wife Sandhya) but even they can't help.
In one of our long correspondences, Peter mentioned the 'unspoken rules' of India (e.g. It's OK to slap beggars or untouchables if they grab you), and I think he's hit on the crux of the problem - I don't get them. In most countries it's easy to learn from experience, but in India, no two experiences are ever the same, and after each bus, train, or plane journey it's like being in a different country, where you have to learn all over again.
We're constantly misreading people and situations, and often feel confused and bad, rather than amused by cultural differences. It seems that everyone wants our attention i.e. money, but whether we give it or not, it always causes problems.
We feel really sad for the people here who are so poor that they can't afford to eat, but everyone asks us for money, and we find it really hard to tell whether we should give or not. We're always approached by mothers who are pimping their children as sympathy whores, who we refuse to give money to for that very reason, but then the other Indians seem to look at us like shit for not giving them any money.
One part of me thinks screw them all, it isn't our problem, it's their society and their responsibility to sort it out, and another part of me feels really sad that we're turning away a mother and child who are potentially starving. Or maybe they're not, because something will inevitably happen (like someone refusing a 10 Rs 'tip' saying 50 is more appropriate) and we'll realise that they were just trying to extort huge amounts of money from us, and probably weren't genuinely needy at all. Or are we being too sensitive? Ggrrr.
I'm in dire straits! I really, really want to like it here, but I just don't. Poor Ben (who's also fed up, but not as fed up as me) is getting increasingly frustrated by my "I hate it here" tears and tantrums. Damn it.
I do have a few 'Indian' advisors in Steve and Zoe (lived in Mumbai for two years, also hated it), and Peter Landa (who's travelled here loads with his lovely, talented, Indian singer and wife Sandhya) but even they can't help.
In one of our long correspondences, Peter mentioned the 'unspoken rules' of India (e.g. It's OK to slap beggars or untouchables if they grab you), and I think he's hit on the crux of the problem - I don't get them. In most countries it's easy to learn from experience, but in India, no two experiences are ever the same, and after each bus, train, or plane journey it's like being in a different country, where you have to learn all over again.
We're constantly misreading people and situations, and often feel confused and bad, rather than amused by cultural differences. It seems that everyone wants our attention i.e. money, but whether we give it or not, it always causes problems.
We feel really sad for the people here who are so poor that they can't afford to eat, but everyone asks us for money, and we find it really hard to tell whether we should give or not. We're always approached by mothers who are pimping their children as sympathy whores, who we refuse to give money to for that very reason, but then the other Indians seem to look at us like shit for not giving them any money.
One part of me thinks screw them all, it isn't our problem, it's their society and their responsibility to sort it out, and another part of me feels really sad that we're turning away a mother and child who are potentially starving. Or maybe they're not, because something will inevitably happen (like someone refusing a 10 Rs 'tip' saying 50 is more appropriate) and we'll realise that they were just trying to extort huge amounts of money from us, and probably weren't genuinely needy at all. Or are we being too sensitive? Ggrrr.
If we tip anyone in a hotel, we end up getting too much attention from other members of staff looking for a tip. In the restaurant of the last hotel we stayed in, where we tipped at every meal, each meal turned into a circus, with up with 9 members of staff hovering over our table and watching our every move, for the entire meal. I know it's sweet, and comes from a nice place, but they're all so laughably incompetent, that their help is more of a hindrance, and it all just turns into a big 'look at the funny Westerners' show, which I find infuriating and Ben manages to ignore.
The men are also creepy, and I really feel harassed at times. We just had another incident in Hyderabad like the one on the bus, but a bit creepier. When we first arrived at the hotel, the sheets on the bed were dirty (What, in India? No?!), so someone came up to the room to change them, and we gave him a 10 Rs tip. No big deal, right? Well, as we've experienced before, this just leads to unwanted attention, which we got.
From then on, people would ring our doorbell at all times of the day, including midnight, to see if we wanted tea, coffee, laundry etc, and sometimes wait there for 5 minutes, then try again for long periods of time. We just ignored them, assuming it was the staff at the hotel, then reception put a very strange call through to our room from someone who said he was staying in the room opposite (which sounded OK because we had briefly chatted with a young guy staying in the opposite room a few days earlier) asking if I had a box of matches he could borrow. When I said no, and then he asked me if I was alone, so I put Ben on, who asked who was calling, and the guy asked for 'Mr Connors', then hung up.
I was really freaked out by the call, and felt like he knew who we were, so we went down to reception to ask about the call, and they said someone had called in from an external line asking to be connected to room 411 - our room. We also asked about the knocks on the door at midnight, and when they claimed to know nothing about them, my mind really started to race, and I was scared. Anyway, we were fine. Nothing else happened, and we think the door knocks were members of staff looking for tips, who were then scared off, but it's just another incident that makes me feel unsafe here.
Seems like nothing we try helps, and the positive experiences we do have are few and far between. Each time we think something's going to be really cool it turns out to be total shit. Then we can find something completely unremarkable to be really charming - like a 26h train ride spent with a really nice Indian family with 2 cute little kids who copied everything I did and said. Made me miss my own family at home even more.
From then on, people would ring our doorbell at all times of the day, including midnight, to see if we wanted tea, coffee, laundry etc, and sometimes wait there for 5 minutes, then try again for long periods of time. We just ignored them, assuming it was the staff at the hotel, then reception put a very strange call through to our room from someone who said he was staying in the room opposite (which sounded OK because we had briefly chatted with a young guy staying in the opposite room a few days earlier) asking if I had a box of matches he could borrow. When I said no, and then he asked me if I was alone, so I put Ben on, who asked who was calling, and the guy asked for 'Mr Connors', then hung up.
I was really freaked out by the call, and felt like he knew who we were, so we went down to reception to ask about the call, and they said someone had called in from an external line asking to be connected to room 411 - our room. We also asked about the knocks on the door at midnight, and when they claimed to know nothing about them, my mind really started to race, and I was scared. Anyway, we were fine. Nothing else happened, and we think the door knocks were members of staff looking for tips, who were then scared off, but it's just another incident that makes me feel unsafe here.
Seems like nothing we try helps, and the positive experiences we do have are few and far between. Each time we think something's going to be really cool it turns out to be total shit. Then we can find something completely unremarkable to be really charming - like a 26h train ride spent with a really nice Indian family with 2 cute little kids who copied everything I did and said. Made me miss my own family at home even more.
Debs
Saturday, 7 June 2008
Barbershops of the world, part 22
One of the ways you know you're paying too much in India is if you say: "How much is this? 20 rupees?" and the guy smiles, wobbles his head and replies: "Whatever you like, sir".
So began my beard trim at "National Hair Dresses", Hospet. Not the nicest place in the world, but this was one of the funniest barberings I've had. The shop was instantly mobbed by curious locals, chatting with Debs about hair dye (while trying to look down her top), while my guy did a decent job of number oneing my cheeks and chin.
So began my beard trim at "National Hair Dresses", Hospet. Not the nicest place in the world, but this was one of the funniest barberings I've had. The shop was instantly mobbed by curious locals, chatting with Debs about hair dye (while trying to look down her top), while my guy did a decent job of number oneing my cheeks and chin.
He even did the moustache nicely. Debs got a free cup of tea from the nutty guy next door and took yet more pointless photos of most of the onlookers at their request.
Cost Rs 30 (EUR 0.50)
Cut quality 7/10
Fear factor 2/10 - bit tense at the initial mob action; relaxed after a few minutes when it was clear that they were only hassling Debs, not me :-)
In the end I tipped him an extra Rs 10 for all the fun, then went back to the hotel to shower and watch Deja Vu starring Denzel Washington. What a day!
Ben
Temples, boats and elephants
Some people recommended going to Hampi (thanks Kate and Pep!) and some people didn't ("Hampi's a shit hole". Thanks Peter!), but we didn't read Peter's critique until after the event, and we didn't really have anywhere else to go, so we went.
We spent 3 days and 4 nights there, and had a nice time, but it was a shame it wasn't a bit busier. We couldn't face a day of temples on our first day in Hampi, so we decided to do a few of the little temples instead, which turned out to be the most beautiful. First we visited the Virupaksha Temple in Hampi Bazaar, which was a bit underwhelming but OK in the end. We started the day off by walking around the temple in our shoes - a big no no - because we entered by a side entrance by accident, then we spent ages in a scrum at the official entrance trying to pay. Annoying. The best part was the temple elephant, who took a rupee coin in exchange for a head pat. Very cute.
We had the Achyutaraya Temple entirely to ourselves, except a few lizards and chipmunks, and were truly enchanted by the place, which was a little eerie, and gave us a real sense of what it must have been like to live in Hampi in the 15th century.
The following day, we got up nice and early, and planned to get a relatively expensive guide to show us around the "undisputed highlights of the Hampi ruins" (according to The Lonely Planet); the Vittala Temple and the Elephant Stables. Things never go to plan here, and after hanging around in an empty tourist office for about half an hour (sitting ducks for unofficial tour guides who had their beady eyes on each of the few tourists in Hampi) we got bored and went it alone - which turned out to be a good decision in the end. Rather than buzzng around on bikes, being bored to death by a tour guide, we ended up taking a beautiful boat ride across to the Vittala Temple in a coracle - a round boat made of bamboo, tar and plastic sheeting, which we previously thought were cooking pots drying in the sun.
And that's where the fun stopped. To be fair, I think it's us that's jaded, but we're just not that impressed by a load of crumbling buildings anymore, especially when it's 35 degrees outside, with little or no shade.
I also think our Hampi experience was slightly marred by our timing - we visited in low season. We stayed in a lovely bungalow (our cheapest accomodation in the world at 150Rs (2.3EUR) a night!) in Viruppur Gaddi, over the river, and spent lots of time eating and reading in a beautiful open air restaurant, but nothing else on our side of the river was open, the boats stopped at 6pm, and there were no other guests, so it felt a little deserted. Not ideal. Also, the touts were relentless, because there were so few tourists, and we had no choice but to pay their extortionate prices if we wanted to get anything done. Shame.
Debs
We spent 3 days and 4 nights there, and had a nice time, but it was a shame it wasn't a bit busier. We couldn't face a day of temples on our first day in Hampi, so we decided to do a few of the little temples instead, which turned out to be the most beautiful. First we visited the Virupaksha Temple in Hampi Bazaar, which was a bit underwhelming but OK in the end. We started the day off by walking around the temple in our shoes - a big no no - because we entered by a side entrance by accident, then we spent ages in a scrum at the official entrance trying to pay. Annoying. The best part was the temple elephant, who took a rupee coin in exchange for a head pat. Very cute.
We had the Achyutaraya Temple entirely to ourselves, except a few lizards and chipmunks, and were truly enchanted by the place, which was a little eerie, and gave us a real sense of what it must have been like to live in Hampi in the 15th century.
The following day, we got up nice and early, and planned to get a relatively expensive guide to show us around the "undisputed highlights of the Hampi ruins" (according to The Lonely Planet); the Vittala Temple and the Elephant Stables. Things never go to plan here, and after hanging around in an empty tourist office for about half an hour (sitting ducks for unofficial tour guides who had their beady eyes on each of the few tourists in Hampi) we got bored and went it alone - which turned out to be a good decision in the end. Rather than buzzng around on bikes, being bored to death by a tour guide, we ended up taking a beautiful boat ride across to the Vittala Temple in a coracle - a round boat made of bamboo, tar and plastic sheeting, which we previously thought were cooking pots drying in the sun.
And that's where the fun stopped. To be fair, I think it's us that's jaded, but we're just not that impressed by a load of crumbling buildings anymore, especially when it's 35 degrees outside, with little or no shade.
I also think our Hampi experience was slightly marred by our timing - we visited in low season. We stayed in a lovely bungalow (our cheapest accomodation in the world at 150Rs (2.3EUR) a night!) in Viruppur Gaddi, over the river, and spent lots of time eating and reading in a beautiful open air restaurant, but nothing else on our side of the river was open, the boats stopped at 6pm, and there were no other guests, so it felt a little deserted. Not ideal. Also, the touts were relentless, because there were so few tourists, and we had no choice but to pay their extortionate prices if we wanted to get anything done. Shame.
Debs
Sunday, 1 June 2008
Movies, markets and molestation in Mysore
We made it out of Coimbatore on the morning bus. No dickheads on this one, thank goodness. The only potential problem was the donkey who was trying to bumrush Ben in the queue at the halfway snack shack:
Mysore - awful name - is a nicer town than many of the ones we've been to previously. But still nothing to write home about. Despite that we've had a nice time together,, and kept each other sane. Most importantly we met some other travellers - yoga nuts - and got drunk with them and vented all our frustrations. They didn't share our negative feelings, but lent a sympathetic set of ears. Very therapeutic! We think the secret is to find something we really enjoy doing e.g. music/crafts and just stay in one place and do that. So we're going to try to do that up in the North.
Meanwhile, while Debs has been planning a bathroom update for when we get back home, Mysore has treated us to some exciting moments. The Market is incredibly well set up and kept, with crazy colourful fruits and veg and these cones of kumkum - the powder that Hindus use to denote various key social events:
I bought myself a Mini Mohini - an electronic drone box that reproduces the sound of a tambour. It's brilliant, and only cost 1750 Rs (EUR 27). There was another one for Rs 5250 which was bigger and better and had a great "tone" knob that went from "Ladies" to "Gents"... but it was too big and heavy for me.
The men of Mysore have trouble keeping their hands to themselves as Debs has discovered on about half a dozen occasions. After the first few "accidental" contacts, she took to whacking the pervs with a plastic water bottle while I shouted "you should be ashamed of yourself" at them. Giving it back to the creeps makes us feel much better. Debs was pretty nervous after the initial encounter but now has a good swinging-arm blocking technique. We're pretty sure it was the sight of her naked ankles that inflamed their passions, so it's trousers all the way from now on.
Our final "get happy" treat was a visit to the cinema this morning to watch the new Indiana Jones film. We both agree that it's the most fun we've had we arrived in India. :-)
Otherwise, the Palace here has some crazy interior decor - thick tiles, opulent stained glass... and ugly yellow plastic barriers herding the crowd around. No cameras allowed unfortunately, unless you want to bribe the guards. We didn't. Zoe would be proud of us. There's also a drab Art Museum here which promised some exciting musical machines but only delivered a load of dusty and rusty old instruments... and another guard fishing for a tip by demonstrating the instruments in a truly cack-handed manner.
Oh yes, and Debs got her hair cut here! Including an eyebrow trim, achieved with an impressive method involving cotton, tension and a very skilled operator. The shampoo (L'Oreal!) cost 3x more than the cut, but the whole thing was only Rs 190 (EUR 3). Bargain.
That's it for Mysore. Off to Hampi tomorrow, assuming the timetable information we have is accurate... fat chance - each of the 5 people we asked gave us a different time of departure, but we'll take a best guess and hope. Seems to be the way things work out here.
Ben and Debs
Mysore - awful name - is a nicer town than many of the ones we've been to previously. But still nothing to write home about. Despite that we've had a nice time together,, and kept each other sane. Most importantly we met some other travellers - yoga nuts - and got drunk with them and vented all our frustrations. They didn't share our negative feelings, but lent a sympathetic set of ears. Very therapeutic! We think the secret is to find something we really enjoy doing e.g. music/crafts and just stay in one place and do that. So we're going to try to do that up in the North.Meanwhile, while Debs has been planning a bathroom update for when we get back home, Mysore has treated us to some exciting moments. The Market is incredibly well set up and kept, with crazy colourful fruits and veg and these cones of kumkum - the powder that Hindus use to denote various key social events:
I bought myself a Mini Mohini - an electronic drone box that reproduces the sound of a tambour. It's brilliant, and only cost 1750 Rs (EUR 27). There was another one for Rs 5250 which was bigger and better and had a great "tone" knob that went from "Ladies" to "Gents"... but it was too big and heavy for me.The men of Mysore have trouble keeping their hands to themselves as Debs has discovered on about half a dozen occasions. After the first few "accidental" contacts, she took to whacking the pervs with a plastic water bottle while I shouted "you should be ashamed of yourself" at them. Giving it back to the creeps makes us feel much better. Debs was pretty nervous after the initial encounter but now has a good swinging-arm blocking technique. We're pretty sure it was the sight of her naked ankles that inflamed their passions, so it's trousers all the way from now on.
Our final "get happy" treat was a visit to the cinema this morning to watch the new Indiana Jones film. We both agree that it's the most fun we've had we arrived in India. :-)
Otherwise, the Palace here has some crazy interior decor - thick tiles, opulent stained glass... and ugly yellow plastic barriers herding the crowd around. No cameras allowed unfortunately, unless you want to bribe the guards. We didn't. Zoe would be proud of us. There's also a drab Art Museum here which promised some exciting musical machines but only delivered a load of dusty and rusty old instruments... and another guard fishing for a tip by demonstrating the instruments in a truly cack-handed manner.
Oh yes, and Debs got her hair cut here! Including an eyebrow trim, achieved with an impressive method involving cotton, tension and a very skilled operator. The shampoo (L'Oreal!) cost 3x more than the cut, but the whole thing was only Rs 190 (EUR 3). Bargain.
That's it for Mysore. Off to Hampi tomorrow, assuming the timetable information we have is accurate... fat chance - each of the 5 people we asked gave us a different time of departure, but we'll take a best guess and hope. Seems to be the way things work out here.
Ben and Debs
Wednesday, 28 May 2008
What a farce!
God, we've had the worse day! India is having a bad affect on me, and I've been losing it with people quite a lot lately, so I'd decided that this was going to be the day I kept my cool.
So, although we're back in Tamil Nadhu (my least favourite state, ever) on a stop over from Munnar to Mysore, I was full of the spirit of a challenge as we trotted off to the bus station to catch our 'hourly' bus to Mysore.
During our two hour wait for the next bus, we noticed two guys watching us, and generally being a bit shady. This happens a lot, so we weren't too worried, just a bit on guard, especially when they started chatting to Ben, shaking his hand, and muttering to each other. Then we got on the bus and they sat with us. Damn. Mainly, they were just annoying, but they were being all pally and sitting a bit too close for comfort, so politely told them we weren't interested in chatting, and asked them to leave us alone. They didn't. When we got up to move seats, they sat behind us, then when we moved back, they moved back, then they started being a bit aggressive with Ben, trying to get a reaction out of him, so we decided to cut our losses and get off the bus. Waiting for the next one seemed like a better option than sitting with them for 6 hours, then arriving in the dark, wondering whether they'd try to follow us. Then they also got off. Ggrrr. Now we were annoyed, and sure that their motives were suspicious, so we caused a scene! What the heck, everyone was already staring at us anyway. At least we could give them something to stare at! I went up to the station master and tried to explain what was happening, and how we were being hassled, and he confronted the guys and tried to persuade us to get back on the bus, but we refused, and said we'd get the next one. In the meantime, these guys had got back on the bus, then off again, and were watching us the whole time.
It was really weird. We're really not sure what they were trying to do, but they worried us enough to want to get the hell away from them, so after waiting for a while, we decided to leave, get the bus tomorrow morning instead, and trotted back to our hotel, a bit shaken and confused, but happy we'd trusted our instincts. We'll get the bus tomorrow morning instead, and hope those guys aren't still there..!
Bit of a strange day. I wouldn't say I lost my cool, but I did end up with very pink cheeks, and all hot and sweaty, and it wasn't exactly the relaxed, carefree day I had in mind. Oh well. Just another day in India. Phew, only 9 weeks to go.
Debs
So, although we're back in Tamil Nadhu (my least favourite state, ever) on a stop over from Munnar to Mysore, I was full of the spirit of a challenge as we trotted off to the bus station to catch our 'hourly' bus to Mysore.
During our two hour wait for the next bus, we noticed two guys watching us, and generally being a bit shady. This happens a lot, so we weren't too worried, just a bit on guard, especially when they started chatting to Ben, shaking his hand, and muttering to each other. Then we got on the bus and they sat with us. Damn. Mainly, they were just annoying, but they were being all pally and sitting a bit too close for comfort, so politely told them we weren't interested in chatting, and asked them to leave us alone. They didn't. When we got up to move seats, they sat behind us, then when we moved back, they moved back, then they started being a bit aggressive with Ben, trying to get a reaction out of him, so we decided to cut our losses and get off the bus. Waiting for the next one seemed like a better option than sitting with them for 6 hours, then arriving in the dark, wondering whether they'd try to follow us. Then they also got off. Ggrrr. Now we were annoyed, and sure that their motives were suspicious, so we caused a scene! What the heck, everyone was already staring at us anyway. At least we could give them something to stare at! I went up to the station master and tried to explain what was happening, and how we were being hassled, and he confronted the guys and tried to persuade us to get back on the bus, but we refused, and said we'd get the next one. In the meantime, these guys had got back on the bus, then off again, and were watching us the whole time.
It was really weird. We're really not sure what they were trying to do, but they worried us enough to want to get the hell away from them, so after waiting for a while, we decided to leave, get the bus tomorrow morning instead, and trotted back to our hotel, a bit shaken and confused, but happy we'd trusted our instincts. We'll get the bus tomorrow morning instead, and hope those guys aren't still there..!
Bit of a strange day. I wouldn't say I lost my cool, but I did end up with very pink cheeks, and all hot and sweaty, and it wasn't exactly the relaxed, carefree day I had in mind. Oh well. Just another day in India. Phew, only 9 weeks to go.
Debs
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
Barbershops of the world, part 21
End of our week in Munnar. Exhausted after a hard day's walking/elephant hunting, I ducked out of the rain and into Mini Bharath Hair Dresses (sic) for a quick beard trim.
The experience was hard to fault. Nice little place, friendly guy, cool chair, sharp blades, great price - and very quick! Only the slightly dull conversation let him down. Here it is in full:
Him: "Where are you coming from?"
Me: "England."
That's it.
Cost: 20Rs (EUR 0.30)
Cut quality: 8/10
Fear factor: 0/10
This was definitely the best combo of speed and quality I've had. Stark contrast to the awful effort I had done in Fiji, which took a similar length of time but left me all lumpy.
Not many of these left to go before I return home now. All you barbers in London and Amsterdam - you've only got a few weeks to contact me with your offers for lucrative sponsorships, modeling contracts, etc etc.
Ben
The experience was hard to fault. Nice little place, friendly guy, cool chair, sharp blades, great price - and very quick! Only the slightly dull conversation let him down. Here it is in full:Him: "Where are you coming from?"
Me: "England."
That's it.
Cost: 20Rs (EUR 0.30)
Cut quality: 8/10
Fear factor: 0/10
This was definitely the best combo of speed and quality I've had. Stark contrast to the awful effort I had done in Fiji, which took a similar length of time but left me all lumpy.
Not many of these left to go before I return home now. All you barbers in London and Amsterdam - you've only got a few weeks to contact me with your offers for lucrative sponsorships, modeling contracts, etc etc.
Ben
Where three rivers meet
"If you can't take the heat, head for the hills!"
After hearing about 6 different people tell us, we finally got the message and headed inland to the Western Ghats. Sneaking out of Fort Cochin almost before we arrived, we caught the 11.00 bus just as it was leaving. Four and a half hours later we were feeling pretty pleased with ourselves as we stepped off the bus into the verdant, quasi-alpine delight that is Munnar.
We spent the best part of a week enjoying the cool, fresh air and the hospitality of the redoubtable Mr Joseph Iype at his Zina Cottage Guesthouse. A lovely place, well out of town, nestled amidst dozens of fields full of tea. Typhoo tea and biscuits always available, as was a chat with Joseph or his wife about the various options for walks or sightseeing in and around Munnar.
Here's Debs, all smiling and happy up the hill at Lockhart Gap. Minutes earlier she had relieved herself of all her India-related frustration by hurling abuse at the top of her voice into the wind. Very therapeutic!
We spent our time relaxing, enjoying the mild climate and being amused at Indians on holiday fighting the "cold" with balaclavas and puffa jackets. We stuffed ourselves silly at ace veg restaurant Saravana Bhavan - our choice for about 50% of all meals - and also really dug the street food at the night market. Those parothas were banging.
Highlight of the week has to be Monday, when we hiked up "the second tallest mountain in south India" with Craig and Lorna, who were also staying at Zina. We're really not sure we were on the right hill, but we got to the top of one bit of it- elevation approximately 2000m. Pretty impressive huh? Slightly less so when you know that we started at 1600m...
After taking in the views and lapping up the refreshing drifts of cloud, we headed back down, discovering the path we hadn't noticed on the way up - always nice that - and then, just as we were hacking through some scrub near the bottom... we heard a wild elephant trumpeting! Very close!
With a mixture of fear and excitement we raced down the last bit of the hill, through the school sports field we'd ended up in (WTF?) and onto the road, from where we could see a big, lone bull, not 15m away from us. He had attracted quite a crowd of yelling, whistling Indians who were all acting extremely recklessly, trying to goad the elephant into action. He was nobly ignoring them, munching on grass. Good thing too, cos those tusks looked lethal. Later, Mr Iype told us he was a famous local rogue bull, responsible for at least 2 human deaths in the past year. Ooer! We felt very lucky to have met him and taken our pictures without incident.
Mr Iype also told us that the sounds we heard every morning issued from the beak of a "Blue Whistling Thrush". He even showed us a picture! I reckon it was Mr Iype himself though - the caption on the photo said the bird was native to the Himalayas (quite a long way from Munnar), the melody was nothing like any other bird I've ever heard, and the timing was always suspiciously close to Mr Iype's getting out of bed time...
Oh yes! We also had a go at rowing a boat on one of the lakes - hilarious fun! Debs got much better at it once I told her to stroke on the pull, rather than the push...
We were sad to leave, but you can't stay put forever, plus the monsoon was moving in. Against all our instincts, we had to head back into hot, dusty Tamil Nadu. Bah!
Ben
After hearing about 6 different people tell us, we finally got the message and headed inland to the Western Ghats. Sneaking out of Fort Cochin almost before we arrived, we caught the 11.00 bus just as it was leaving. Four and a half hours later we were feeling pretty pleased with ourselves as we stepped off the bus into the verdant, quasi-alpine delight that is Munnar.
We spent the best part of a week enjoying the cool, fresh air and the hospitality of the redoubtable Mr Joseph Iype at his Zina Cottage Guesthouse. A lovely place, well out of town, nestled amidst dozens of fields full of tea. Typhoo tea and biscuits always available, as was a chat with Joseph or his wife about the various options for walks or sightseeing in and around Munnar.
Here's Debs, all smiling and happy up the hill at Lockhart Gap. Minutes earlier she had relieved herself of all her India-related frustration by hurling abuse at the top of her voice into the wind. Very therapeutic!We spent our time relaxing, enjoying the mild climate and being amused at Indians on holiday fighting the "cold" with balaclavas and puffa jackets. We stuffed ourselves silly at ace veg restaurant Saravana Bhavan - our choice for about 50% of all meals - and also really dug the street food at the night market. Those parothas were banging.
Highlight of the week has to be Monday, when we hiked up "the second tallest mountain in south India" with Craig and Lorna, who were also staying at Zina. We're really not sure we were on the right hill, but we got to the top of one bit of it- elevation approximately 2000m. Pretty impressive huh? Slightly less so when you know that we started at 1600m...
After taking in the views and lapping up the refreshing drifts of cloud, we headed back down, discovering the path we hadn't noticed on the way up - always nice that - and then, just as we were hacking through some scrub near the bottom... we heard a wild elephant trumpeting! Very close!
With a mixture of fear and excitement we raced down the last bit of the hill, through the school sports field we'd ended up in (WTF?) and onto the road, from where we could see a big, lone bull, not 15m away from us. He had attracted quite a crowd of yelling, whistling Indians who were all acting extremely recklessly, trying to goad the elephant into action. He was nobly ignoring them, munching on grass. Good thing too, cos those tusks looked lethal. Later, Mr Iype told us he was a famous local rogue bull, responsible for at least 2 human deaths in the past year. Ooer! We felt very lucky to have met him and taken our pictures without incident.
Mr Iype also told us that the sounds we heard every morning issued from the beak of a "Blue Whistling Thrush". He even showed us a picture! I reckon it was Mr Iype himself though - the caption on the photo said the bird was native to the Himalayas (quite a long way from Munnar), the melody was nothing like any other bird I've ever heard, and the timing was always suspiciously close to Mr Iype's getting out of bed time...
Oh yes! We also had a go at rowing a boat on one of the lakes - hilarious fun! Debs got much better at it once I told her to stroke on the pull, rather than the push...
We were sad to leave, but you can't stay put forever, plus the monsoon was moving in. Against all our instincts, we had to head back into hot, dusty Tamil Nadu. Bah!Ben
Thursday, 22 May 2008
Cruisin' the Kerala backwaters
Sorry it's been a while since we blogged, but we're actually having fun would you believe?!
Everyone tells you - if you go to Kerala, go to Alleppey. Cruising the backwaters on a houseboat designed like a traditional kettuvallam rice barge is it a bit of a rite of passage, and now we see why. It's really expensive for India (Rs 6000/ 100 EUR for 2 days) but worth every Rupee.
As soon as we arrived, we were accosted by people trying to put themselves between us and the boat owner for a hefty commission. It's a minefield of touts, and we almost gave up when 3 touts almost started a proper fist fight between themselves over us (our money) while we stood there waiting... idiots.
Thankfully, we binned the touts and went to the DTPC (government tourist office - not much better, to be honest) who hooked us up with Sunil and his ace little boat Bhagya Lakshmi.
The next two days were a soothing balm for our ravaged souls. Quiet! Blessed peace and quiet, just the occasional squawk of a bird or the drone of a tambour with a priest intoning the Mahabharat to lull us into a watery reverie.
It was a truly delightful experience, watching kingfishers (real live feathered ones) zoom around the waterways, drinking Kingfisher (cold, fizzy, alcoholic ones) on the sun deck, swimming in the surprisingly warm waters at the end of the day (although Debs now has a nasty cough as a result of an over-zealous jump), and generally just taking it easy.
Sunil's food was lovely, especially his sensational puri masala for breakfast (WOW). We enjoyed some enlightening chats with him about India in general, food, and why on earth all the kids along the banks of the canals kept yelling "give me one pen mister!". We've only got 3 pens, and 1 of them is mostly broken, so they had no luck with us.
Then we ripped up the coast to Fort Cochin - nice but dull - where we stayed in the house where Vasco da Gama lived and died, and attended a sweet little cookery course with Mrs Leelu Roy. We made sambar, thoran, chappatis and two other delicious curries whose names temporarily escape both of us. Lush! More quizzing by Debs, especially on the subject of beggars (never give to kids or able-bodied adults).
The most memorable event in Fort Cochin was when a cheeky teenage boy copped a feel of Deb's left boob by the sneaky method of a weird handshake. Mrs Roy was horrified when Debs told her, and recommended the following course of action if it were to happen again: "just grab him by his neck and take him to the police, yaar?"
Here we also met Karen again (an Icelandic horse trainer who we first met on the train to Alleppey), and Finn, a skater from London who knows Ben's friends from way back, Phraeza and Mark. Tiny world, innit?
And then we buggered off out of the heat and craziness to Munnar, up in the hills.
Debs and Ben
Everyone tells you - if you go to Kerala, go to Alleppey. Cruising the backwaters on a houseboat designed like a traditional kettuvallam rice barge is it a bit of a rite of passage, and now we see why. It's really expensive for India (Rs 6000/ 100 EUR for 2 days) but worth every Rupee.
As soon as we arrived, we were accosted by people trying to put themselves between us and the boat owner for a hefty commission. It's a minefield of touts, and we almost gave up when 3 touts almost started a proper fist fight between themselves over us (our money) while we stood there waiting... idiots.
Thankfully, we binned the touts and went to the DTPC (government tourist office - not much better, to be honest) who hooked us up with Sunil and his ace little boat Bhagya Lakshmi.
The next two days were a soothing balm for our ravaged souls. Quiet! Blessed peace and quiet, just the occasional squawk of a bird or the drone of a tambour with a priest intoning the Mahabharat to lull us into a watery reverie.
It was a truly delightful experience, watching kingfishers (real live feathered ones) zoom around the waterways, drinking Kingfisher (cold, fizzy, alcoholic ones) on the sun deck, swimming in the surprisingly warm waters at the end of the day (although Debs now has a nasty cough as a result of an over-zealous jump), and generally just taking it easy.
Sunil's food was lovely, especially his sensational puri masala for breakfast (WOW). We enjoyed some enlightening chats with him about India in general, food, and why on earth all the kids along the banks of the canals kept yelling "give me one pen mister!". We've only got 3 pens, and 1 of them is mostly broken, so they had no luck with us.
Then we ripped up the coast to Fort Cochin - nice but dull - where we stayed in the house where Vasco da Gama lived and died, and attended a sweet little cookery course with Mrs Leelu Roy. We made sambar, thoran, chappatis and two other delicious curries whose names temporarily escape both of us. Lush! More quizzing by Debs, especially on the subject of beggars (never give to kids or able-bodied adults).
The most memorable event in Fort Cochin was when a cheeky teenage boy copped a feel of Deb's left boob by the sneaky method of a weird handshake. Mrs Roy was horrified when Debs told her, and recommended the following course of action if it were to happen again: "just grab him by his neck and take him to the police, yaar?"
Here we also met Karen again (an Icelandic horse trainer who we first met on the train to Alleppey), and Finn, a skater from London who knows Ben's friends from way back, Phraeza and Mark. Tiny world, innit?
And then we buggered off out of the heat and craziness to Munnar, up in the hills.
Debs and Ben
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
