Saturday, 5 July 2008

Things of India

The standard questions
Where are you coming from?
What's your good name?
I take one photo?
You have one (school) pen? (Debs once misheard this as "disculpe?" and was whisked back to Mexico. Not really, just in her mind.)
What's your state? (To which I was always tempted to reply "I'm a solid", but I'm not really sure that's right - I'm actually mostly liquid. Troublesome stuff innit?)
Anything else? Coffee? Bill? (As you take the first mouthful of your meal - Debs hated this)

The place
Car horns, psycho drivers etc
Pervs and gropers
"Helpful" people who intervene when you're in a shop waiting to be served, taking it upon themselves to be your middleman for the impossible task of buying a bottle of water.
Staring. Always, always staring. At us.
Charmingly antiquated use of English: "She left me high and dry", "He caused a right rumpus" etc.
When anything is rubbish or goes wrong, "politics" is to blame.

Overused words
Dickhead
Colourful
Retards / retarded
Enthusiastic
Shit / shithole
Delicious
Incompetent
Liars
Nosy
Incredible (in an exasperated way, not admiringly)

Our sayings
"India has made us old"
"I don't recognize myself any more - I've turned into a horrible person"

See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!

Ben and Debs

2 comments:

erikus said...

Get to nepal you spazzies!

Anonymous said...

You've got India well summed up!
Other antiquated uses of English,
'That doesn't cut the mustard' and
'You must be a cut above the rest mam.' You've gotta love em.

Love the middleman observation, not sure how we manage without them now.

Weird thing but 'incredible' used in the same way was also my favourite word. (along with giving them the bird a lot ...

See ya'll , Mrs Steve ( my good name)